me, my redhead, and so on

hawaii in five

2012-01-31T13:23:00.001-07:00

Click the little YouTube button to view larger in YouTube.

Beware. Watching this movie may cause one to get ridiculously trunky for summer.

Also, it's about five minutes long. So if you haven't five minutes to enjoy paradise, I've included a few more still shots (and explanations) for you.

I love these pictures. Pretty place. Pretty babies. Lovely memories. Including the meltdowns. Because we got over it and just loved the guts out of each other.

Thank you Hawaii.

My favorite faces. In. The. World.

The clouds in Hawaii are kind of amazing. That said, they often block the sunset.
However, the sun through them was pretty fantastic.

Annabelle is generally not fond of messes on her person.
At two years old she still hates to get messy while eating.
But put her in sand? Whole new ballgame.
She could live on the beach, quite literally.

Oh so serious.
This is Lydia staring us down just after her first encounter with the ocean.
Not a fan. Not a fan at all.

So they're not totally sharp photos, but come on!
Jess got pics of a whale jumping!

Most photos you see of Hawaii are all beach and ocean.
But there's jungle too.
This was a little hike we went on to Honolua Bay (a snorkeling hot spot).

Um, yeah.
This photo sums up Hawaii pretty well.

Her very favorite part of Hawaii: the cool, most towels the resort passed around.
She played with them for hours.

Jess said that just before he snapped this photo, this blow hole blew
even larger and soaked those super intelligent tourists to the left.

I think she just looks pretty much beautiful here.
And so very happy.

Sadly, this is how much of Lou's naps happened.

The sun setting on our last day.
We had a red eye flight, so we stayed outside until the last
minute to watch the sunset before going in to pack it up.

we're baaaaack!

2012-01-30T15:08:00.001-07:00

So, um yeah. Hawaii. I have absolutely no idea how I'll ever suffiently update ya'll on a week in paradise. It was both the most relaxing and exhausting vacation ever. Taking two babies to Hawaii is not the easiest task. And it's possible that each member in our family had at least a minor meltdown. But we made it work. And we had a lot of fun doing it. Annabelle was our little fish and spent hours -HOURS AND HOURS - at the beach and pool. And Loula screamed at the ocean or sand if we got too close. (No, really. Screamed.) That said, we managed to find a perfect balance of beach and ventures and food and shade (for Lou) and glorious, glorious sun. And my heavens, that ocean air. My skin could drink that stuff for years and not get tired of it.

I'll be spending the next few days sorting through photos. I haven't a clue how they'll end up here, but they will. So for now, a random selection. :)

Things to note:

1. Like I wear makeup in Hawaii. And yes, yes, I am that hot and sweaty. And chubby to boot. Oh well.

2. I managed to keep both children from burning the entire week. That feat alone deserves national recognition. Have you seen their pasty skin? Not to mention Lou's BALD WHITE HEAD?

3. Annabelle's curls were to. die. for. They're popular here, but she practically stopped traffic in Hawaii.

Stay tuned. I feel like a video might be in the works. Because there are dozens of photos I already love. Oh Hawaii, we miss you already.

six months

2012-01-19T08:39:00.000-07:00

Little Lala:

Six months. For real? I can't begin to tell you how lovely you've made the last six months. My only regret is that they seem to have passed entirely too quickly. You continue to just be the happiest little thing around. People - strangers and friends alike - are constantly commenting on that "happy little baby!"

This month you sealed the deal on being a mama's girl. Yes, yes. Mommy is definitely your favorite. That said, your older sister is in serious competition with me. You two have become best buds in the last month. Annabelle is a little obsessed with you - she loves to "hold" you and loves trying to pick you up (don't worry - she hasn't done so unsupervised...yet). She loves to make you laugh and smile, and she's actually starting to share toys. You love your Daddy bunches too. In fact, your most consistent babble is a "Da da da da da da." Some people dismiss that kind of babble, but I sincerely believe there is some recognition in the sounds babies make.

You started sitting this month. Sort of unassisted. You still need some pillows for support and for catching your sideways dives. You love to hold every little thing in your vicinity. You love to examine things until you've really determined how they operate. You give head bumps, just like your big sister did. It's your own little sign of affection, and my forehead is often red from your continual bumping. You love to bump my head and hold my hair. You also still love your blanket. Um, lots. You dive into it and eat it and roll around in it. You can't sleep without it.

You've had like six hundred colds this month. (Which accounts for your semi-somber photo shoot and your crusty nose.) I'm sorry baby. Its a germy time of year. You're a real trooper, and a week before you turned six months, the doctor okayed baby ibuprofen for you, which was a serious lifesaver. Your sleep has been whack-a-doo this month, but I think it's mostly because you haven't been able to breathe very good with all these colds. You haven't started solid foods yet, but when we get from Hawaii, it's time. I know you're ready - you try to steal our food regularly and follow our eating utensils to our mouth with your mouth open.

You've got a little bit of hair on that big head of yours (96th percentile), but you're mostly our "baldly" as your sister loves to call you. You're super tall and fit into some 12 month clothes. Although you're not wide enough to fill out most.You do this thing with your little hands that looks like you're waving. I know you're not exactly saying hello or goodbye, but I love watching you realize that you have control over the way your hands move. You like to stand up on the couch or on the church pews as well. Your legs are straight and strong, and I sometimes wonder if you'll crawl at all.

Happy half year sweet thing. I hope you know that you're my heart little Lou Lou. And my joy. And I can't get enough of you.

All my love,

Mommy

Here she is at one month.

Here she is at two months.

Here she is at three months.

Here she is at four months.

Here she is at five months.

my heart wants to sing every song it hears

2012-01-18T14:37:00.002-07:00

The other day, Annabelle woke up from her nap in customary fashion: a sudden, "Mommy! Mommy!? I'm in here!" as though perhaps I forgot that's where I left her. I went and retrieved my little baby and deposited her on the couch so I could get her customary (watered down) apple-juice-after-nap. I had been watching Gilmore Girls while I cleaned, and the Girls were still fast talking away. Annabelle said, "What is this?" Me: "It's Gilmore Girls." Her: "Hmmm....Do they sing in this?" Me: "No, not in this one." Her: "Could we watch something that has singing?"

I grew up in music. And I mean it, in music. Our formal living room houses somewhere in the neighborhood of six musical instruments (all of which my mom plays), and has at one time or another housed upwards of eight or nine by my count. The center of our home is my mom's baby grand, a creamy colored, beautiful wooden piano, with dig marks above the keys in certain octaves where our fingers have rubbed the wood away. She bought that piano just before she got married, one of those purchases she knew she wouldn't be able to make otherwise, and a purchase she wanted to be all her own. Some of my fondest memories are falling asleep to the sound of my mom's fingers on that piano. She is incredibly talented in everything she does, but it seems to me that perhaps her fingers become a little bit magic when they find their home above those keys, and music just effortlessly tumbles out. We began piano lessons as soon as we could read (age four), and while we often fought her on practicing, we all grew to love the piano and music in general. I believe music - sung or played or even listened to - shapes the brain into something marvelous. It lifts spirits. It speaks to our souls. I believe music is vital to life just as water.

For Christmas, Grandma Lichelle gave Annabelle a guitar. Her very own, very real, acoustic guitar, "just her size." Now she can be "just like Maria!" which of course, was my mom's intention. But most important to me, she can sing-sing-sing while she plays her beautiful little tunes. She has yet another way to let beautiful music fill our tiny apartment. She has a harmonica as well (also from Grandma Lichelle) that she got for Christmas the year before. Just yesterday I heard her puffing away on it, random sounds harmoniously melding together in a strange combination of non-matching chords, her cheeks making clouds on the sides of her pretty little face. Suddenly, she pulled it away from her mouth and explained, "That was The Hills Are Alive!" And she was so proud.

Here's to my musical baby. And the hopes that it stays a part of her heart forever.

sisters

2012-01-14T16:26:00.001-07:00

I'm sure I have a blog post with this title already. And I'm sure I'll have many more. Because seriously. These sisters! I'm sorting through photos for The Daily Lou (I pre-load 2-4 at a time), and I came across these. And I couldn't bear to wait a few days to share them. These girls!

I love how much they love each other. I love how much I love them.

And they really do look alike, don't they? Sometimes I don't think so. Maybe because Lou is so stinkin bald and her sister has that head of curls.

But then sometimes, yes. Sisters for sure. Oh, how I love these sisters.

bath baby

2012-01-13T14:47:00.005-07:00

For some reason, I regularly bust the camera out after bath time to take pictures of Lou Lou. I did the same thing with Belle. It actually ended up being pretty fun with Annabelle to see how she grew through bath time photos. And so it continues. They're just so darn cute all fresh from the bath, right?

And here's a random bath time tidbit about Lou: she does not like a lukewarm bath. She shivers. Convulses even. But put her in a marginally hot bath? And she reclines like a retired old man on the deck of a cruise ship. Minus the leathery, wrinkled skin. Well, she also kick kick kicks. But mostly she just loves to be all toasty.

Dead ringer for her sister here...

But definitely little Loula here. That face is all her own.

Also, that hair is curly. I swear it. I'll be really surprised if I'm wrong, although I suppose it's happened before. Once or twice. :)

P.S. These photos were taken a few days ago, before the snots took over our lives. If you were wondering why she was smiling so nice, it's because she can breathe.

the snots

2012-01-12T17:35:00.002-07:00

So we have got a serious case of the snots around here. It's one of those colds that creeps up on you slowly and then WHAM! you're a goner. All of us have it too, which is a rareity as Mr. Jess has the immune system of a mountain goat and rarely RARELY gets sick. But alas, we've all got the snots. The kind where snot just unexpectedly and without any sort of warning comes shooting out your nose. It's equal opportunity snot too - on furniture, people, whatever your nose feels deems a sliming. So awkward. Belle seems to be on the up and up, but the rest of us are wiped out. Loula spends the night by yelling at us. And truly, it's not so much crying as is it is yelling, like, DUDES! I AM SO SICK OF THIS SNOTTY NOSE! MAKE IT GO AWAY! AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, JUST GIVE ME MY #@$% BINKY!

We're surviving by watching the Sound of Music over and over (oh wait, that's real life too), re-enacting the Sound of Music over and over (oh wait...real life), playing lots of Memory (Boo is getting good), eating lots of this bread (the second recipe in the link), and just generally avoiding the hefty list of tasks that needs to be accomplished before we leave for Hawaii next week. And Lou of course finds her binky most vital to survival. I've never been more grateful to have a binky baby. In. My. Life. I myself consider it seriously awesome self-control that I haven't busted out a bag of Hershey Kisses, as I generally find them necessary to any type of healing. It's something about the way that waxy chocolate coats your throat. Or perhaps it's just the fact that it's chocolate. Period.

Cold be gone. Sleep be back.

No, for real.

puppy love

2012-01-10T11:53:00.001-07:00

I grew up with dogs. Starting with our shetland sheepdog, Bluff (named for the bluffs surrounding St George, UT) and culminating three additional dogs later in the current four-legged residents at my mom's house, Chamine - a fifteen-year-old keeshond and maybe the world's best dog, not to mention most beautiful, and Miley - a three-year-old pomeranian (seen here) whose yips make my brain rattle but whose love saved my mom in some hard times.

Growing up, I always knew my kids would have a dog simply because their presence in my life as a child and a teenager was really that important. Now, of course, I understand my mom's (former) resistance to these furry friends - the mess and the hair. Yuck. Not to mention the barking. That said, my mom now lets a little yipper sleep in her bed. Dogs are quite literally a part of our family, and a part even my mom wouldn't take away.

We don't need a dog (or cat for that matter) right now - not until Belle is a little older at least (and I'd love to be done with crawling babies as the thought of dog hair in their mouths makes me gag a little). And Jess doesn't want one at all. He didn't grow up with one and doesn't know how much you can really love a pet. But I know we will have one, even though Jess will resist even more than I. Because I know these girls will put on their puppy dog eyes, and Mommy will explain how simply amazing it is to have a forever friend around, and Daddy will cave.

Because really. Look at this girl. And it's not even her dog. P.S. Lou loved Miley too. I'm so sad we don't have photos of Lou giggling her guts out at Miley and trying to give her head bumps. Sorry Daddy. There's a dog in our future! :)

All photos by dc photography. That said, all post processing was by me. In Picasa. Because we're ghetto like that. And I'd hate for her to get blamed for my sweet photo editing skills. :)

wake up call

2012-01-09T14:16:00.000-07:00

The best way to wake up Daddy from his Sunday nap is to send in Lou Lou. Because I'm telling you what, Jess is not an easy riser from his Sunday naps. He gets to that dead sleep place, where making eyelids uncover one's eyeballs becomes a near impossibility and sleep becomes the only solution. However, send in Lala, and you've got it in the bag. Because really, it's impossible to not smile around this kid. Even when you're tired. Even when your thyroid is strung out leaving your body limping behind with a side dish of exhaustion. Because seriously. Girl makes everyone happy. So happy we have her.

matchy matchy

2012-01-08T12:02:00.003-07:00

Shortly after I had Lou Lou (as in minutes), my father-in-law mentioned how I could have matchy-matchy babies. I nearly jumped out of my hospital bed in excitement, and were it not for the IV still stuck in my arm, I probably would've. Because I hadn't even thought of that yet! MATCHY MATCHY! The next day he showed up at the hospital with some matchy matchy outfits and a warning to never go to Carter's if you didn't want to leave broke. :)

The trick about these matchy girls is one is very tall and stocky (especially for her age), and one, while she's ridiculously long for her age, is relatively skinny. (It's all relative to us - after our chunky Belle, Lou is a comparative shrimp. Others seem to think she's big, however.) Because of their disparate proportions, I have seriously had issues finding outfits that match in the right sizes. The ones Papa brought only fit together for like a minute. And at Christmas, I tried my best to find something adorable for them to match in. No luck. (At least within my cheapskate price range.)

We went to St. George last week, and of course had a little mini Christmas while there. My mom, being the ridiculously amazing person she is, managed to whip up a few dresses for the girls. That match. AND FIT. I've been in matchy matchy heaven all day. Usually I change the girls out of their church clothes as soon as we get home. But today I'm pretty sure they'll be wearing these pretty little numbers until the sun goes down.

Tanks Mama. They were admired by all.

getting serious about those last ten pounds

2012-01-07T11:20:00.001-07:00

So my cute sister-in-law, Kimberly (the other redhead, seen here), and I challenged each other to an "eat healthy, lose weight before Hawaii" challenge. We're headed to Hawaii in about two weeks, and although she really hasn't a pound to lose, I sure do. I've been stuck at these last 10-15 pounds for-evah. But mostly, both of us just wanted someone to stick with, the comfort of knowing someone else was passing on those yummy sugar cookies.

And truthfully, I haven't done half bad. And it really does help when I wake up at the buttcrack of dawn and just want to sleep, to know that Kimmy's trying too. And so I drag myself out of bed and, of course, always end up feeling better for it. Here's what I've been doing:

1. No sugar or white flour. Except for snitches of Nutella. I will concede a few other random snitches as well, but never a cookie, piece of cake, or chocolate bar.

2. I do some form of work out 5-6 days a week (I always take off Sundays but try to get something in Saturdays too). Most days I spin for thirty minutes (my tendons are super iffy right now and I don't dare to do more), followed by 15-20 minutes of resistance training with a resistance band, and some leg lifts for my tendons. When I was in St. George and Miss Lydia Lou didn't permit much sleep, I didn't roll out of bed as planned, but instead I tried this random pin (above - and the day I did four cycles nearly killed me). Let's just say I could barely lift my 17 pound child for a few days, and lifting the 40 pound child was out of the question. It may not be heavy cardio, but it kicks your toosh good.

3. I drink more water. I'm not even going to pretend that I drink enough. But I drink more. I hate water. It's just so...tasteless. I do love it when I'm working out, but during the day it's like pulling teeth to get me to drink it.

4. I've upped my veggie and fruit intake. Without cookies and chocolate to snack on, I've been resorting to the yummy fruit alternatives. And when I need a salty fix, I eat some sort of veggie. I've created a tomato-zuchinni chip kind of thing that is a little bit to die for. Perhaps I should post a tutorial and pretend that I belong on Pinterest? Yes, I think so.

And of course, I feel muuuuch better. I'm not groggy, my stomach isn't bloaty, I feel healthy. And for the grand weight loss total (we started this December 26)?

Get ready...

...make sure you're sitting down...

...ONE POUND!

On a good day.

If I'm sucking in.

And put one floor on the ground and one foot on the scale.

Seriously. The comedy is almost tangible. I'm trying really hard to lose weight. And yet, the weight stays. Oh well. I feel good about my effort, and I feel better about my body, even if its size isn't changing. And I told Kimmy I would stick to my guns if she would. And so I will. Just like the pounds are sticking to my gut.

it's been said

2012-01-01T15:58:00.004-07:00

Shauntel: Boo, are you hungry?

Belle: Uh-huh.

Shauntel: Do you want a quesadilla?

Belle: No. I want hot chocolate.

I wanna go footbare.

Let me help you, my dear. {while doing a puzzle with me}

Shauntel: So, what are you thankful for?

Belle: Um, for people.

Shauntel: What people?

Belle: Um....for people that shop?

{she's an economist, what can I say?}

{after I ask her to throw away her garbage}

Shauntel: Annabelle! This isn't putting your paper in the garbage!

This is putting paper on the floor! I need you to come put the paper in the garbage!

Belle: {as she throws the paper away} Thank you for asking me to throw my paper away!

{Seriously?}

Shauntel: Who's your favorite mommy? Is it Lydia?

Belle: No....

Shauntel: Is it Don Don?

Belle: No....

Shauntel: Is it Kimmy or Whitney?

Belle: No....it's my best friend Mommy!

{and there goes my heart}

The fun cart is peeing! {giggle giggle giggle}

{the shopping cart - the huge version, fun right? - was spitting rain water off its tires}

Belle: Mommy! There's a monster in the laundry room!

Shauntel: Really? Is he doing the laundry?

Belle: No. He's hiding behind the laundry.

Shauntel: Figures.

Will you remind me and take this out of her hair? {will you remind me = do you mind}

{after we get ready for church}

Shauntel: You look so cute Belle!

Belle: I know.

Shauntel: Do you want another piece of chicken?

Belle: No, I'm fullish.

Shauntel: Who are your babies?

Belle: Clarissa, Rosie, Suzy, Sammy, Caterpillar....and Caterpillar's pants!

What is that that I smell? {any random thing - something cooking, a car's exhaust, etc.}

{after she hears the front door open, from her room}

Belle: Mommy?! Who's here!?

Shauntel: It's a stranger!

Belle: A STRANGER?!

Shauntel: It's a stranger with red hair!

Belle: IT'S DADDY!!!???

sleep

2011-12-30T07:37:00.004-07:00

Every night, before I go to bed,

I check on my girls.

Sometimes a few times.

I stand and watch their chests rise and fall.

I love the way their faces

relax into sleepy perfection.

And I try to memorize them.

And most times

my heart starts to get all squishy.

Last night, I found this.

And I went and retrieved Jess.

Because I knew he'd want to see

the beauty of this lovely moment.

I know that technically

we are raising children.

But I'm often quite certain

that the blessings are all ours.

Oh, my heart.

christmaspalooza

2011-12-27T23:15:00.000-07:00

Well, it was a success. Christmas was as lovely (and exhausting) as I imagined it would be. I walked into Annabelle's room to retrieve her Christmas morning (she's still in that blessed crib), and told her that Santa had come. She peered into the hallway and asked, "Is he still here?" I told her he wasn't, that he came while we slept. She then asked, a little concerned, "But did he leave me presents by the door?"

Lucky for her, the presents were nicely laid out on the couch. This is the first year she's really understood what's going on, and it was really so much fun. We bought her a kid's digital camera, and she loved it as expected ("Look! A cram-rah like yours and Daddy's!"), but it only held her interest until she noticed the kid scissors that had slipped unnoticed out of her stocking. She then spent the rest of the day cutting.

No really. We were up at Grandma and Grandpa Cheney's house, and while the other kids opened presents, she cut paper.

For her part, Lou did an awesome job chewing paper.

And looking really cute. And bald.

One of my favorite gifts we (Annabelle) received (so far, we still have a St. George Christmas coming... :) ) came from her Grandma and Grandpa Cheney. At the beginning of December, Jess and I attended the opening night of The Festival of Trees. Among the trees and wreaths that are up for auction, there are also several centerpieces, which can consist of anything from a nativity set to a painting to random Christmas crafts (all donations). As we perused the centerpieces this year, both of us were stopped in our tracks when we came to this painting:

Because there was our Belle. Her hair is a little too dark, but her face reminded us so much of our little curly-haired beauty. Of course, the painting's starting bid exceeded anything we could afford, but we bookmarked it in our minds and thought perhaps we'd purchase a smaller print for Christmas. A few days later, my father-in-law asked if he could buy it for us for Annabelle's Christmas present. We heartily said yes, both because she has enough toys to last her a few lifetimes and because this is the kind of gift that really means something.

I realize that Annabelle doesn't really understand the beauty of this painting right now, but it's something we - and hopefully she - will treasure forever. Because this is what it is all about. That little baby Jesus whose birth we celebrate this time of year grew up to be our Savior. And He loves each of us just like He loves this sweet little girl in the painting. And when we mess up, when we drop our pitcher and it spills, he picks up the pieces and wipes our tears. And I'm so grateful for that knowledge and this visible reminder.

Having babies around during Christmas makes it so real and tangible and meaningful. I already miss the magic and find myself wishing it were Christmas again with just about as much fervor as my six-year-old self. Merry and magic indeed.

Cue the excessive photo sharing. :)

merry christmas!

2011-12-25T06:30:00.000-07:00

a {family} nativity

2011-12-24T14:20:00.002-07:00

And she brought forth her firstborn son,

and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger;

because there was no room for them in the inn.
Luke 2:7

holiday faves

2011-12-23T18:32:00.001-07:00

movie: You've Got Mail. Not really about Christmas, although some of it takes place over the Christmas season. There's just something about that old friend of a movie that makes me happy. And makes me feel all Christmasy.

treat: I totally copied my cousin-in-law and made these. Problem is, despite my diet resolutions, I ate like half of what I made. (I used peppermint Hugs.) Things are addicting. Also, trying to lose weight during the holiday season is like telling Annabelle's hair to be straight. Impossible. Only Annabelle's dilemma results in cuteness. Mine in a spare tire. Rad.

soundtrack: We've had Michael Buble's new Christmas album on for weeks in the car. (Thus, Microphone Blue Blue.) His voice is like velvet, and his versions of the Christmas classics are positively spot on.

event: I'm going to have to go with Hale Centre Theatre's A Christmas Carol. People, it is pretty much the best way to start the season (we attended the first Saturday in December). Richard Wilkins plays Scrooge (and has for 27 years), and the man is kind of incredible. He lives in Quatar right now but returns each December to reprise his role. And goodness, he makes me cry. The whole production is phenomenal. Really.

funny: When we went to pick out our Christmas tree (in sub zero temperatures), Jess went to take Loula out of her car seat and smelled the smell. Girl has stinky diapers. Stinkier than you can imagine. It's not right. So I'm like, "No big. I'll just change her real quick while you go tree looking with Boo." I reached for the diaper bag only to find no diapers. AND NO WIPES. In my two and a half years of motherhood, I have never been caught without either. This was kind of a comedy. So I did what any mother would do and started digging through the car to see what makeshift items I had. Miraculously, I came up with a little baggy of wipes from who knows when that were still marginally moist and a size six diaper leftover from Annabelle's diaper days. And let me tell you what, Lou rocked the diaper that reached to her armpits. Rocked it.

it's been said

2011-12-21T14:41:00.004-07:00

Me: You're a fruit snack nut!

Belle: I'm not a fruit snack nut! I'm Annabelle Charlene Cheney!

Me: You are?
Belle: Yes, and I'm the big sister!

Me: True.

Belle: And I'm the babysitter!

Me: Sweeeeet. When can you start?

I want the reindeer red nosed fox.

{overheard, singing}Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, had a very shiny....nose...had a very...bloody nose?

{thinking, shaking head...}

A very shiny nose.

{whispers under her breath while I brush her hair}

I'm so excited! It's getting looonnngggg!
+
Belle: What's his name that sings this song?

Me: Michael Buble.

Belle: Microphone Blue Blue?

{a few days later, in the car}

Hey Mom. I wanna listen to...Mr. Buble.

{I nearly died laughing. She knows "Mr. Buble" from this.}

{and yet a few days later, in the car}

I like this Microphone Buble.

Rosie's drinking her bottle so be careful! Don't chouch her!

Maybe someday I'll see Santa at Hobby Lobby.

Belle: Is my head broken on the big computer?
{referring to that picture she saw weeks ago that chopped off the top of her head}

Me: No, it was just a picture Honey.

Belle: {holding the top of her head} My head is together?

Me: Yes, your head is together. {Mine, however...}

Look! Lydia's holding my hand! ... She's my friend.

{the best kind of friend, the best}

{her first prayer, said without any help or prompts}

Heav-ee Fadurr...we tankee for...my babies...we ask dee...to blessit...name of Jesus Christ...Amen!

You tink your video is spicy? {my burrito, we haven't got a whole lot of "spicy" videos around here...}

Grammy's berry little...and she's berry special. {totally out of the blue, mind you}

Did I get this toy from Old McDonald's? {McDonald's}

{to Aunt Whitney, referring to her pants}

Belle: These are boy pants.

Whitney: Um, no...they're girl pants silly.

Belle: These are girl pants. But they look like boy pants.

{while we're walking from the car to the apartment}

Let's get on the sidewalk so we don't get in trouble.

{overheard, while she plays with her toy food and kitchen}

Thank you for making this! It's nice to have friends over for lunch!

The firefighters are getting in their truck! I'm so impressed!
{referring to some firefighters she saw leaving Cafe Rio}

Boys make messes. Girls make cleaning! {perhaps the most true thing she's ever said}

{while playing with my hair}

Apparently, I'm doing a braid in your hair.

Belle: I like Santa. I tink he's nice.

Me: Yeah? Do you want to sit on his lap and tell him what you want for Christmas?

Belle: Um, no. I want to stay in my stroller buckled. And juss look at him.

five months

2011-12-20T14:53:00.003-07:00

Little Loula:

In your fifth month, you stopped being an infant all together. I'm pretty sure you'll be twenty years old tomorrow. You started rolling over. Mostly only from back to front, but the other way too. I like that you did it this way, because you did it your way. By the end of the month, you were really good at rolling to actually get places or to grab things. You also found your toes. You don't eat them very often, but you do love to grab them and roll from side to side.

This month brought a few separations for us. You were left with loving friends and family a few times - a few times you were perfectly fine, a few times you just wanted your mommy. On one of those times when you wanted mommy, when I returned, I rushed into the room where you were crying (and being held and loved). The instant - I mean THE INSTANT - I touched you to pick you up, your cries were silent. I felt so very special in that instant. You then spent a half hour staring up at me with wide smiling eyes, a smile behind your binky. As if to say, "You did come back!" I hope you're learning that although I will leave from time to time, I'll always come back. And while I'm gone, I'm missing you.

Your hands are fast, fast, fast now. You grab with a vengeance. You must touch everything in your reach. And you will lunge straight out of our arms or laps to get to what you want. You love your exersaucer but have a particular affinity for the purse toy attachment. If ever you play with it too long you get angry. When I take you out of the exersaucer, you just get more angry. I think it's because you want the purse and it's really stuck. You often stand straight up in your exersaucer. Your legs and tummy are getting strong. Play time is intense - you focus through things, not on things it seems. You love your white blanket more than ever. It's the perfect amount of stretch and love I suppose. You also love Sophie the Giraffe. Looooooove. I often find you with your blanky in your right hand, Sophe in your left. And happy as a clam. (You appear to favor your left hand, which is very interesting with your exclusively right-handed family, including sibling, parents, grandparents, and aunts and uncles.)

You've started sleeping a little sporadically. Sometimes I get a wake up call at 3:30 a.m., sometimes at 6:30 a.m. like old times. Sometimes your naps are two hours, sometimes they are two minutes like old times. I imagine it has something to do with your growth rate. Or maybe with how much you've played that day. You did get your first cold this month as well, which also seemed to throw a wrench into your sleeping patterns.

You wear size 6-9 month clothing mostly. That said, you don't fit in some things because you're too skinny. You're long enough for some 12 month clothes, but way to spindly to fill them out. I have you in size three diapers. You techincally fit in size two, but the blow outs were driving me insane. So you're in big size three diapers and blowing out rarely.

You love your big sister. Like a lot. You love to try and touch whatever she's touching. You love to grab her curly hair. And she is hands down your favorite reason to giggle. You laugh at almost everything she does. Although, I'm happy to report that you also regularly giggle now. Up until recently, I had to put on a circus to get a giggle from you. Now you laugh just because you're happy. Your little chuckles are some of my favorite sounds.

I love that although you are tiny, your spirit is huge. Your personality takes over our apartment sometimes. You're a very intense little girl. Either you're very happy or you're very, shall we say, unhappy. Luckily, there is more happy than unhappy these days. You're so very lovely my girl. And we're so very lucky to have you.

All my love,

Mommy

Here she is at one month.

Here she is at two months.

Here she is at three months.

Here she is at four months.

lovely

2011-12-18T14:50:00.003-07:00

Jess has a desktop screensaver set up on our computer that shuffles through some of the best of his photos. This morning, I looked over and saw this:

And I was just a little bit overwhelmed with how beautiful this lovely earth is. With how lovely everything is. This Christmas season has been wonderful for me. Last year was hard. I was in my first trimester of Lydia, and I wasn't well - in body or spirit. So this year has been so refreshing and quite honestly, a little bit amazing. Every little thing means so much more this year, the lights, the sugar cookies, the Christmas tree, the tiny baby Jesus and his brave mommy, Mary (oh, my heart). I've been sort of absent from my blog because I've been busy Christmasing. And enjoying my little girls. They are maybe the sweetest things on earth, and sharing Christmas with babies is some kind of magic. Annabelle is starting to understand some concepts, and having a new baby around during the holiday season...well, there really isn't anything better.

So. All of this to say, I'm simply grateful. Life really is beautiful. Amid the shuffling and even amid the heartache that we all experience in one way or another, it's quite lovely. And I'm simply grateful.

PHOTO: The Great Smokies, sunrise. I don't believe any post processing occurred either. (We don't even own Photoshop.)

another white bites the dust

2011-12-16T22:43:00.000-07:00

My mom makes her grandbabies oodles of crocheted things before they're born. They arrive home to blankets and booties and sweaters and hats and a blessing dress (or five if it's Annabelle and she just keeps growing out of them) and little snuggly blanket squares. All crocheted from the same ridiculously soft yarn. And all ridiculously beautiful. She's a busy woman. I'm really not sure how she finds the time to outfit these babies, but she does. And their mommies are ever so grateful.

As it has been documented, Annabelle took a particular liking to the white blanket she was brought home in. Girl loves that blanky more than any other earthly possession. Although I don't allow it to accompany us into stores or on errands, it's often waiting patiently in the car. And even when my mom crocheted her a second white blanket in the hopes that having two would slow the decay of the first, she won't budge. She uses the second one, but she loves blanky. Blanky makes her happy. It makes her brave. It makes scary things fade. It heals owies. It even assisted in potty training (she held it, rolled up in a tight ball, to make her feel brave, and now that we're past the fear, she leaves blanky at the door). The other day, when a friend hurt her feelings, it was only being wrapped up in mommy's arms with blanky around her head that she could forget the mean things that had happened.

When Lou was born, I was dead set on not allowing another baby to destroy that pretty white blanket. She came home in it, and then I promptly folded it at the end of her bed and decided that the pretty light blue/tealish one was the one she would love. Little turkey didn't. She took a liking to the minky type of blanky for a while, but whenever I'd take the white blanket out (for church or photos), she would light up and practically dance. She'd grab it from behind her head and wrap her face up, just like her sister did and does. When you'd peek at her in the blanket, she'd be grinning and happy as a mommy who got a whole night of sleep. Eventually I realized something: this beautiful blanket was doing nothing sitting there folded except staying white. And so I relented. I think it has something to do with the stitch of the blanket, but just like her sister, she laces her fingers (and toes) through the blanket and swims in all that softness.

Yesterday, I thought I'd see if I could just get her to like the blue one. I just really wanted to give the white blanket a shot at you know, STAYING WHITE. Plus, I love that teal one. And it's never too early to start pushing personal preferences on your children, right?

Here she is with said blanket, just a few weeks old.

She seemed fine through the day with the new blanket, but when it came time for bed, she started pitching a fit. This is rather customary for her, and the night time fit is generally just a last ditch effort to not go to sleep. She usually gives up quickly, takes her binky, and goes to sleep. But not last night. Last night she was arching her back and yelling and seriously mad. Sometimes I think babies can't use words until they're a little older because if they could as infants, it would be chiefly obscenities. I was a little worried as I can customarily get her to settle quickly, but I was having no luck. I thought maybe she just wanted her bed as she is pretty keen on snuggling up and drifting off to sleep by herself. But that made things much worse. And suddenly I had the thought, "Just give her her blanket."

Oh.

I scooped up that sad little thing, wrapped her in the white, soft blanket full of love, she nestled her head in, and she immediately went to sleep. I am not lying. I'm relatively sure my mother crochets some sort of invisible airborne drug that my children become addicted to into those blankets. There is truly something magic about them. All day she's been happy as a clam, her fingers laced through her blanket at all times. And I promised her I'd never take it away again. Except maybe when she's twenty. And her roommates think she's awkward. But until then, she's free to be safe and loved in that pretty white {for now} blanket.

smile

2011-12-11T15:23:00.001-07:00

So I'd be lying if I said every day was super awesome, that I'm super happy all the time. The truth of the matter is, sometimes I'm pretty irrational. Sometimes I make no sense. Sometimes tears are more common than smiles. And it isn't because I have a sad life. On the contrary. I have a lovely life really. I think it mostly has to do with hormonal imbalances that my body is continually reconciling. For the most part, I'm relatively normal. I'm blessed to have doctors monitoring me monthly and synthetic hormones to do the job that my thyroid cannot. But on the days when things are out of whack, I can feel it. Thankfully, I've learned to just wait it out. I've learned that I'll come back around.

And thankfully, I have my babies around to keep me in check. It's honestly pretty hard to be sad when I stop listening to my brain and just focus on them. One thing I've been incredibly grateful for is this tiny girl's smiles. She doesn't smile with just her mouth. She smiles with her whole face, and it's contagious. There have been many times where I'm nearing an irrational breakdown, and that great big gummy smile happens. You simply cannot look at this face and not smile back.

Go ahead, give it a try. Bet you're smiling already...

it's been said

2011-12-08T12:55:00.001-07:00

{while trying to describe which song from Sound of Music she wants}

Belle: I want Maria to sing without her hat.

Me: Um, it's a movie. We can't make her take off her hat.

Belle: No, I want her to sing without her hat, sing So Long.

Me: You want the Cuckoo Song?
Belle: {getting ridiculously exasperated with me}

NO. THE SONG WITHOUT THE HAT THAT THEY SING SO LONG.

Me: Oh! {realizing which scene she probably meant} This one?

Belle: Yes Mommy! I know bout what I'm talking about!

Mommy, your hair is long. My hair is...small?

Mom! What happened! Is the top of my head missing?

{after looking at a photo where the top of her head is cut off}

Day gonna hang out and have a blessing. {her nativity people}

{after Jess picks up his scriptures to read one morning}

Belle: No Daddy! Don't read the scriptures!

Jess: Um, why not?

Belle: Daddy don't read the scriptures! I don't want to go to bed!

{because we always read scriptures together at night before bed}

Me: Who's your favorite Mommy?

Belle: Daddy!

{awesome}

{to Lydia} Hey little creature!

{while playing with a little toy car} This car is a HUGE LAWNMOWER!

{in reference to her Great Grandma Cheney}

Grammy's little. She's just my size.

{cute...}

{in reference to a short lady at Target}

Look Mommy! That lady's just my size!

{awkward...}

Brown paper packages tied up wif...kittens...

{My Favorite Things in Sound of Music)}

I want to listen to I Have Competence.

{I Have Confidence in Sound of Music}

{after I give her a roll and start scooping up her soup}

Belle: Thank you Mommy.

Me: For what?

Belle: Thank you for making dis dinner. It's goooood.

Belle: Here Mommy. Have one of my candies.

{I take a Skittle.}

Belle: Thank you for taking a candy from my hand!

{while she whines because I won't let her have something}

Me: What's wrong?

Belle: I want you to make me happy Mommy!

Lehi has germs on his face.

{in reference to his beard}

two pies

2011-12-02T15:37:00.001-07:00

I went to a baby shower for a friend the other day. She's having her second baby, so she was asking those of us who had two (or more) how the transition was. We started talking about how your heart literally grows, that you really do love the second as much as you love the first (something that seems so impossible beforehand). And one of my friends described it perfectly:

"While I was pregnant with my second, I pictured my love as one pie that I'd have to split in half," and she traced in the air a circle. "Each baby would get some of the pie, and it would be my job to make it even." She split the air pie in half with her finger. "What I didn't realize is I wouldn't have to split that pie at all; I'd actually just have two pies." And she held one imaginary pie in each hand.

It's the absolute truth. My heart is two pies - each baby gets her own. It's beautiful and lovely, and perfectly amazing. When I had Annabelle, my heart practically ached with all the happiness that was going on. I didn't think I could know more happiness. Indeed, I do. That Lou is her own little pie. And I love it just as much as the first.

nativity

2011-12-01T22:17:00.001-07:00

We pulled out the Fisher Price nativity set the other day. And it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas 'round here. Belle spends considerable time each day organizing the set, putting things and people in their places. I often find each person in their bed asleep, along with all the animals on their sides as well, because of course, they're sleeping too. Once, she gathered all the people around baby Jesus and told me he was having a blessing (like her baby sister's blessing a few weeks ago).

Lou, for her part, is enjoying devouring the camels...

....although she occasionally pauses to...ah hem...use the facilities...

...then resumes camel consumption.

I'm so glad we have a toy that actually reminds us why we celebrate Christmas. It isn't red and jolly, it doesn't twinkle or make noise, but Annabelle is learning the story of baby Jesus and loving every minute. And Lou Lou is just happy to have something to gnaw on.

oh-see-dee

2011-11-30T15:27:00.001-07:00

So she's got a little OCD going on. Have I mentioned that? I mean, mostly she's a regular kid depositing babies and toys and socks and whatever she might find intriguing at the moment all over the apartment. But sometimes she has moments...

Yeah. Not normal. I love that she not only lines them up, but also folds them so precisely.

I wonder where she gets this from. Certainly not from the parent who plans a party with a multi-sheet spreadsheet. Certainly not the parent who can't sleep unless her t-shirt matches her pajama pants.

Certainly not. :)

the green dinosaur

2011-11-29T14:51:00.001-07:00

At 5:15 this morning, I was very sharply awakened by Annabelle's piercing scream. She was terrified. This wasn't a lonely or hungry cry. This was fear. I literally ran into her room where she was waiting with arms up for someone to rescue her. When she finally settled down, she was able to tell me what was wrong: "A green dinosaur chouched me. He chouched me on my neck." A nightmare.

I explained that there wasn't a dinosaur anywhere, that it was just Mommy, Daddy, and Lydia in the house. But she was sure. She looked around her room for the green dinosaur and told me again and again that the green dinosaur "chouched" her neck. I took her into both Daddy's and Lydia's room to show her that they were safe and sleeping. I gave her some milk and told her she was safe. When I put her back in bed she started to whimper and cry and frantically begged me to go see Daddy "so he won't fall."

I took her into our room, where she got wrapped up in a two-sided snuggle and assured that Daddy was okay, that there wasn't a green dinosaur, that she was safe in our snuggles. Wrapped up in Daddy's arms, she was able to fall back asleep. But only then.

When she woke up a few hours later, I didn't mention the dinosaur, not wanting to remind her and figuring she would have dismissed it from her sleepy memory. Not so. About an hour after she woke up, she suddenly recalled it. And she recalled more details: "The green dinosaur was on Lichelle's {my mom} stairs. He was in a box. And he was crawling like this. He said, 'Ggggrraaawr!' and I cried at its face, and it chouched my neck. I said, 'Don Don.' I was looking for Don Don {my sister, to save her I assume}." And she keeps telling me about it. No amount of persuasion will convince her that the green dinosaur does not exist: "No, Mommy. I sawd it! It chouched me!" She keeps mentioning it, and we keep talking about how she's safe and I will never let a green dinosaur get her.

It kind of breaks my heart that she knows how to be afraid. We do our very best to protect her and shield her from the dark things of this world. She'll get to them soon enough, and honestly I don't think a two year old can be too sheltered. But something* crept into her mind and turned into something scary. I hope she knows that as long as we are able, we will protect and defend her. I hope she knows that there will be scary things in life, but that we will always always be there to hug the scariness away.

* I'm guessing the green dinosaur came from Toy Story. He's not even a scary dinosaur, yet her mind knew to change him into one. So interesting as we don't have TV or dinosaur movies or even dinosaur toys.

Photos by dc photography.

belated thanksgiving

2011-11-28T12:47:00.001-07:00

We had decided we'd go to St. George for Thanksgiving if my sister had delivered her baby by Wednesday (the day before). If she hadn't, I was going to wait until she popped and then head down. Rissa went into labor Sunday night (before Thanksgiving). After an agonizing Monday spent staring at my phone, practically willing it to announce that baby's birth, little Lise was here. And so off we went.

On Thanksgiving morning, long before the sane humans had even thought of waking, Jess was on the road to Bryce Canyon. He caught sunrise...

...and then "a few" other shots like this...

We loved on the new little baby...

I just want to say that I wouldn't be at all sad if I aged like this woman does.
She's my mother. Not my sister. Just a clarification there. ;)

We had our traditional meal of untraditional Thanksgiving food because really, who needs a turkey when you can just eat carb-loaded homemade rolls? I discovered and cultivated a new love of Jalapeno Cheetos (seriously - don't try them if you don't want to gain a few pounds of Cheetos weight). And on Friday, Jess and I hit some Black Friday sales. Annabelle entertained us with her randomisms...

Belle: I want my roll back Daddy.

Jess: Where is it?

Belle: In Miley's mowf. {the dog}

And Lou entertained us with her baldness...

But mostly, we just sat around giggling til our guts hurt. (Or was that the inordinate amount of rolls I consumed?) And we just had the most lovely time. If driving alone with two babies didn't give me ulcers and a nice sheet of acne, I'd be back tomorrow.

As close to a family photo as we could get.
My husband was with his other wife. His camera.

Photos of the girls by dc photography.

little miss annalise

2011-11-27T14:38:00.001-07:00

My baby sister had her baby. After something like 24 hours of labor (although she'll only concede like 14) and pretty much going through world war womb, Rissa got to meet her sweet Annalise Lichelle. (The first name is just pretty. The middle is my mom's. Together, it's just beautiful I think.)

She's a little beauty. And oh that hair. Ack!

I know, right? I spent considerable time petting and coveting that mohawk. My poor bald babies.

I'm so happy for Rissa and Carl. And I'm so unbelievably proud of Rissa. They make a beautiful little family. And they made a most beautiful little baby.

that time of year...

2011-11-22T15:36:00.001-07:00

This time last year, I was still in the death grip of nausea, hormonal insanity, and exhaustion. I was so very grateful then for the Legos fun Annabelle had with her daddy while I lay on the couch dying. (Or was that just pregnancy?) This year, I'm still wallowing in hormonal insanity, but the nausea and exhaustion have gone the way of the wind. In their place came a tiny little creature baby that made all that dying worth it. But the Legos have still come out. It's that time of year when going outside becomes less of a good idea every day and indoor activities become creative. And the little Lego friends are at it again.

P.S. Did you click that "Legos fun" link?" Check out Belle's chubby toddlerness. And her sparse whispy curls. My, how time has changed her!

four months

2011-11-20T07:00:00.000-07:00

Little Lou Lou:

I'm happy to say that your fourth month seemed to pass a little slower, as though time slowed just a tiny bit, and the days became more tangible. That said, you're still growing into six month clothes faster than any of us prefer. You're tall and long and simply lovely.

In your fourth month, you developed a superb thumb chomping habit. Not sucking, mind you, chomping. We tug it out repeatedly, which I think is part of the appeal to you - it's a funny game now. You love your binky lots and lots, especially when you're tired. You love your sister way lots, and not just when you're tired. You love to be wherever she is, and you watch every little thing she does. You're a mama's girl, and your mama wouldn't have it any other way. :) You love your daddy too, however, and especially love resting in the crook of his leg while he works.

You talk and whine and scream quite regularly. When you smile, you almost always stick out your pointy tongue. You love playing with soft toys that you can really grab, especially soft books. When there's something in your reach, you shimmy around by kicking and rocking/rolling until you can get it. I've seen you taking your binky out and putting it back by yourself, and you love to hang on to my necklace with your L (and Annabelle's A).

You rolled over from back to front once and often rock from side to side when you're playing. You love to stand up as well, and you've got the cutest little chicken legs I've ever seen. You're mostly a cat napper. But I try not to complain too much because you let me sleep at night. You nap much longer if someone is holding you. You love your white crocheted blanket, and you pull it on your face both when you're sleepy and when you're playing.

You're stealing our hearts right and left. And we wouldn't have it any other way. Happy four months little creature.

All my love,

Mama

Here she is at one month.

Here she is at two months.

Here she is at three months.

how pinteresting

2011-11-16T21:47:00.001-07:00

1. I love pinning thoughts and quotes. I've always loved things smartly said. I love it when words are used perfectly. I love it when they're used correctly. And I love finding little bits of inspiration.

2. I will not pin a quote if it looks ugly. Or if it has blatant errors. I've forgiven a few punctuation errors when the quote has been good enough. But I have literally passed up some serious witticism beause I find the error too obnoxious or the design unappealing.

3. All those dang braid hair dos that look ahhh-mazing are frackin' impossible when YOU HAVE NO HAIR LIKE ME. The sock bun? Big fat joke. (Also, watching that little sock bun tutorial will lower your IQ instantly. Holy crud.)

4. I have actually tried - or am in the process of trying - several of the things I've pinned. Some are Christmas presents. Some are stupid things like the sock bun. Some are delicious food recipes. Some I used for Lou's blessing (the balloons). I try really hard to not just go pin crazy and pin junk I won't ever do. That said, I've pinned my fair share of useless things. I ain't gonna lie.

5. I never knew I wanted a pair of Toms until I saw them on everyone's style boards. Now I'm pretty sure they belong on my feet. And no, I will not wear skinny jeans with them. Skinny jeans don't belong on fat calves. They don't.

6. People are obsessed with running. I'm jealous of their obsession. Gosh I miss it.

7. I get an intense sense of satisfaction when someone repins my stuff. Validation that my ideas are bomb.

8. I'm fascinated with repinning. I think one day I'll look at some random pin and follow its path back to see how many times its been repinned. I think Pinterest is an amazingly visual representation of social interaction and peer pressure. Do I really want to eat those tamales or do I want to eat them because they've been repinned 608 times? People could study social trends through Pinterest. Seriously. Fascinating.

9. If I could really have my dream home the way my dream home board illustrates, it would be pretty freaking amazing. Also, I'd need to be a millionaire.

10. Sometimes I find myself scrolling through Pinterest without knowing how I got there. Usually at midnight. It's an illness at midnight. Really, it is.

sisters

2011-11-15T12:40:00.001-07:00

The Christensen girls, circa 1999(ish). Go Doc Martens. And please note that my hair has not really changed.

I'm very blessed to have three sisters. No brothers. And who needs 'em anyhow. I'm married with two chicklets, the next is in Houston living the semi-single life (she's got a boyf), the next is having a baby of her own any minute (and is also married), and the youngest is a freshman in college. We all look eerily similar, although Rissa doesn't match completely with her blonde hair. (The other three have dirty brownish hair - we all dye it dark.) Number two and number four look practically like twins, and I've thought one was the other on multiple occasions. With my mom, these girls are my very best friends. In. The. World.

The most current photo of all of us together. Sad, right?
I had bangs and Belle was just a tiny seahorse in my belly.

People often ask how difficult it was for our parents to raise FOUR GIRLS. Oh, dread! We think it's hilarious because we weren't very typical I suppose. There wasn't hair pulling or plate throwing. Of course, there were occasional bits of drama fueled by monthly hormones, but the fact of the matter is, there was more getting along and eating ice cream at midnight than anything else. We are the kinds of friends that only sisters can be, the kind of friend that lets you be angry or irrational without thinking twice. They're the most honest kinds of friends too, and the ones that you can be the most honest with. I love them so much. I love that I can be myself with them, more than with anyone else. I can be angry, sad, happy. Fat, skinny, annoyed. They don't care. In fact, they just understand.

We didn't know if Lou was a boy or girl until the minute she popped out of me. And in that minute, I remember sinking back onto my bed and saying with almost relief, "It's another girl..." It isn't that I don't want a boy (although raising one sort of terrifies me). It's simply that in that moment, my heart realized that my Belle just received her very best friend. What I didn't expect, however, was how early this friendship would begin. There must be something in us that recognizes something in our siblings. It's like the same instincts that govern development also govern love - I don't have to teach Lou to suck her fist, just like I haven't taught her to love her sister. She just does. I find it fascinating and lovely all at the same time.

When Belle wakes up in the morning, she asks first where her Daddy is (sometimes at home, sometimes at work) then where her sister is. She frequently shares her blanket with her by letting her snuggle in it, which is seriously huge as that blanket is her only earthly possession that she really cares about. She loves to {attempt to} hold her and hug her and give her kisses. Lou, in turn, is enamored with Belle. I'll often hold Lou on my lap while Belle runs around singing Sound of Music songs, and Lou's little head will rotate round and round, following that sister's wild dancing. When she comes near her to shout a lyric or two, Lou squeals with happiness. I often catch Lou just staring and smiling at Belle, hoping Belle will return the grin. Lou reserves a special kind of sister smile for Belle - it's so unbelievably adorable.

My friendships with my sisters mean the world to me, and I have every confidence that these girls will feel the same way about each other as they grow up. And that makes me so happy.

random

2011-11-14T07:13:00.001-07:00

+ One of my favorite things about Belle is the way she tries to see through her long curl in the front. She would rather go blind than clip her bangs back. One of my favorite things about Lou is the way she constantly furrows that brow. (See below.) She would rather get botox than just relax.

+ So what Pinterest has taught me is I'm really not very smart or creative. Some of the things I pin are seriously the most common sense ideas; yet, my sense is obviously not common at all. Also, Pinterest has taught me that people love bacon and Nutella, not necessarily together, but probably.

+ Does anyone have any Achilles tendon rehab suggestions? Besides sit on your duff and eat chocolate? That's the routine I've been going with. It's working out great.

+ So my pre-Annabelle jeans fit(ish) but not really. They're tight around my totally buff (fat) quads, and my hips are weird now. But my post-Annabelle jeans fall off my non-existent rear quarters. (If I could spin, I could get some butt back. Without spinning, I've just got chocolate and a flat butt.) I hate jean shopping more than swimsuit shopping. Because finding jeans for tall, ah-hem, stout women is impossible. It always has been. And so I just keep shoving my non-existent rear into the tight jeans and pretend that breathing isn't really my thing anyhow.

+ I find that a day goes infinitely better when started with prayer, wheat toast and Nutella, and Diet Dr Pepper. If any one of those elements is missing, just forget about it.

+ I'm in the middle of post-pregnancy hair loss. Pretty sure I'm going to be bald by the end of the month. It's more than a little disconcerting and also more than a little disgusting to find my hair everywhere.

+ Jess bought a huge bag of Wint-O-Green mints at Sam's Club for work. He brought me a bunch home, and now I'm obsessed with finding the dissolvey ones. You know what I'm talking about. And if you don't, you're really missing out.

+ I'm sort of obsessed with this Tuscan Mac & Cheese. I've loved it forever, but now I just want to make it every day. And Belle too: "I want the noodles with chicken in it." Although she doesn't actually eat the sausage, just the creamy sauce and noodles. (By the way, I don't add olives to mine. I feel like olives are just a salty excuse of a vegetable. Also, it's not like a true mac and cheese. It's a creamy noodle dish, but has a different {and delicious} taste than you'd expect.)

+ I wish my sisters and mom lived here. I find it highly annoying to be separated. Just sayin'.

+ My thyroid is almost back to normal. In other words, I can almost remember to clean my toilets. Seriously though, I feel almost normal, and it really is wonderful. That fuzzy haze is lifted off my eyes and soul, and I'm just totally in love with this mommy gig, more than I was before. And let's be honest all ya'll - I already had obsessive issues. This is just a whole new level of nutty.

it's been said

2011-11-12T10:15:00.001-07:00

Uggghhhh, freakin' toilet!

{when the lid fell down on her back}

{after running an errand with Daddy}

Oh, little sister! I missed you!

{followed by a kiss}

{after I sing her bedtime song}

I want Lichelle {my mom, who was visiting} to sing to me.

Should I stand on my bike?

{sure, and then crack your head open}

{while waiting for our lunch group to arrive}

I think I hear my friends coming!!!

{cocking her head to the side and actually listening for them}

I have my dancing scarves and strollers! {whaaaa?}

{while practicing her lowercase letters}

Look! It's a little A! It's so tiny like Lydia!

{while standing in Lydia's car seat}

Mommy, look - are you proud? {totally}

{when cousins and friends came for the blessing luncheon}

Thanks for coming to my room guys!

{during the middle of Mommy and Daddy singing I'm Trying to be Like Jesus at bed time}

Hey! Jesus loves me guys!

{after explaining that a friend was getting baptized and that we were invited to the baptism}

Um...do I go in the water with Daddy too?

{after attempting to explain the Holy Ghost}

Where's he? I wanna see the Holy Ghost!

{reading The Hungry Caterpillar to herself}

...And he ate two kinds a lums.

{while I change Lou's stinky diaper}

That's magic poop!

{um, magically disgusting...}

Me: Okay, I think we're ready to go.

Belle: Fo' real?

Me: Alright, let's go buy this stuff.

Belle: Seer-us-lee Mom? Seer-us-lee?

Photos by Danielle.

procreation

2011-11-10T14:51:00.001-07:00

So some of you may be wondering if you should have a baby.

Let me answer that question for you:

Yes. Yes, you should. :)

random

2011-11-07T14:58:00.002-07:00

+ My heart has been on the tender side all day. I love my girls so much. I say it so much, but it's so much a part of me. They are my heart. I can't get enough of them.

+ I sort of live in mommy world, so I didn't even know Coldplay had a new CD until my sister mentioned it. I've been consuming it since. In my opinion, they didn't top Fix You from X&Y, but dang that Chris Martin. His voice. Like buttah. (Try Up Against The World, Princess of China, or Every Teardrop is a Waterfall. Yum.)

+ I amped up my spinning too soon and I've been "resting" my blasted Achilles tendon for a week now. So obnoxious. But then I realize that this simply isn't the time of life that I'm going to be a tiny skinny person with a six pack. In fact, I will probably never be tiny or skinny. And I most definitely will not ever have visible abs under the stretched out skin that growing babies in my belly have created. But I have beautiful babies. And they fit me much better than any pair of jeans.

+ Do you Pinterest yet? Because if you don't, I highly recommend this life suck. It's the most creative way I've ever wasted time. And I can't. Stop.

+ I'm thrilled that the holiday season is upon us. Last year was a pregnant holiday season. Which means I merely survived it. I'm so happy that I'll actually be able to see the twinkling lights without mentally calculating how long I have until I puke. I'm so happy I'll get to watch my Belle really understand some of the holiday. And it's our little Lou's first Christmas. So magical.

+ We signed another six month lease at our apartment complex. We've now lived here over a year. We planned on six months. Strangely, we're pretty okay with it. We just feel good about where we are. And so we stay. Also, house hunting is exhausting. And we have no desire to move our junk in the snow. I've mastered the two babies and six bags of groceries up the stairs, so why not stay, right?

+ I make this pumpkin bread at least once a week. It's delicious. And I pretend it's healthy because it has some wheat flour. Annabelle loves it too, especially because it has lots of ingredients she can help dump in. I can't decide which I love more: the bread itself or making it with my baby.

+ My little sister is having a baby. Any. Minute. I think about her all the time. Her life is about to change in the best of ways. The very best. She is about to do the most important thing she has ever done. And I know she can do it. I'm so proud of her. And I'm so very excited to meet her tiny little love. (Hang in there Sooh. You'll have your feet back and a baby in your arms before you know it.)

a blessing

2011-11-06T20:52:00.000-07:00

Since the day that we brought Lydia home from the hospital, Jess hasn't been totally sold on her name (the Lydia part, not the Lou part, which is what we really love and what she basically goes by anyhow). He tries out random names on her all the time, which is kind of a comedy. Eliza Lou? (So cute, right?) Lizzie Lou? Today we blessed our little Lou, and I will admit that I had a small ulcer wondering if I would walk into church with a Lydia and leave with a Bertha because Jess had finally decided that was the name for her.

The good news? We left with a Lydia Lou. It was such a beautiful day with friends and family, and a wonderful chance to recognize our little lady. And I thank my lucky stars that this little Lou is ours. She is indeed one of my most treasured blessings.

Almost all photos by Danielle.

it's been said

2011-11-05T10:26:00.000-06:00

{singing} The sound of music is alive!

I want Maria to get married!

{the song they sing during Captain VonTrapp and Maria's wedding}

Mommy, whatchoo saying in your mouth?

Look Mommy! A car just my size! {VW bug}

Lydia smells like stinky feet.

My blanky smells like...fruit. {perhaps it should be washed?}

I need some lovin'. {after getting a bonk}

I peed in the potty! Are you proud?! Is Lydia proud?

I wanna go up there and see Angel Moroni.

{pointing up high to Angel Moroni on top of the temple}

Mommy, what are you talkin' to?

{after eating a few bites of a new pasta sauce}

That...is not good.

{after I ask her where she'd like to go, expecting Target to be the answer}

To Gatlinburg!

{while carving pumpkins}

I wanna cut the pumpkin! Puuuhhhhleeeaaasssse!

{practicing Grandma Christensen's name - Lichelle}

Michelle. Maaaa-shell. Maa-Lichelle. Ma-Lichelle. Mmmmm. Mm. Lll. Lichelle!!

I want the song the prophet singing about a mountain. {whhhhaaaa?}

I don't want to have my skipping bath. {she wants to skip her bath}

Grandma Christensen: You're a hoot and a half!

Belle: You're a half!

Belle: Daddy, will you do me a favorite?

Jess: A favor? Sure, what do you need.

Belle: Fill up the diaper bag.

Belle: Can I get in the exersaucer?

Me: No, the exersaucer is for babies like Lydia. You're too tall now, but you played in it when you were a baby.

Belle: {thinking} Can I crawl under the exersaucer?

Me: Um. Sure.

Belle: Mommy, Lydia's being naughty!

Me: Oh, really? What did she do?

Belle: She won't look at me like I said her to do.

Me: I'm just going to steal your nose, okay? {a little game my mom played with us too}

Belle: Nooo! I need my nose.

Me: But I want a little nose. Can't I have yours?

Belle: Ummmm...go in that room and take Lydia's little nose!!!

{playing hide-and-seek}

Belle: Okay, I'm hiding!! Come fine me!!

Jess: Hmmmm. Where could Annabelle be?

Belle: I'm behind the door in my room!

good morning!

2011-11-04T09:12:00.004-06:00

Sometimes I literally pace the floor waiting to see these faces in the morning.

Wouldn't you?

How can a day not be good when it starts with this?

Granted, some days I'm also stumbling out of bed in a sleepy stupor, but

a day doesn't pass without me having a moment of realization

that perhaps I'm the luckiest mommy in the world.

some smokies

2011-11-03T10:10:00.000-06:00

Here's the truth: I don't even know where all the photos of the Smokies are. I know they've been offloaded - but their destination is unknown to me. And by staying ignorant, I avoid the responsiblity of sorting through them. Because seriously, there's crazy and then there's Jess. He takes so many photos it gives me ulcers. I'm not even the one responsible for them, yet the thought of all those files just piling on top of each other makes my head hurt. And then I have to drink Diet Dr Pepper. Although the two incidents are likely unrelated.

But the husband has gone through a handful of photos. And by handful, I mean a handful. Just a small tip of the photo glacier my friends. But here's proof that we went. And that it was beautiful. It was a much more stressful trip for me than Gatlinburg trips of the past as I had an extra baby and the first baby has an opinion these days. But it was still lovely. I distinctly remember walking out of the Knoxville airport (where we flew in), and I stood there (five bags of luggage, two car seats, and two babies hanging off of me), shut my eyes, and breathed in that woodsy, mountain air. There's something about that air that is almost tangible. It's one thing I truly miss. We have our Utah mountains, and they are truly spectacular. But the air is different here. The air in Tennessee was refreshing and full of foliage. And I loved it.

P.S. I still want to find the photos that actually have humans in them. I'll work on it.

a kitty and a bug

2011-11-01T15:18:00.002-06:00

So I'll be the first to admit that Halloween isn't on my list of top ten holidays. In fact, the only list I'd maybe put it on is Holidays That Are Gross. The holiday is mostly strange and kind of evil in my opinion. Too much disguise and deception and blood and gore. Not to mention how every innocent costume now has its whoreish counterpart - trying to find a chaste cat costume for Belle was a joke. Good thing Grandma Cheney had one for us. That said, I can get behind babies in cute costumes. And I totally get the appeal of getting free candy. (Although, again - another sort of negative point to the holiday - gluttony.) I also love my mom's tradition of chili and sweet rolls every Halloween. Any excuse to eat good food, right? This year, I made chili for the Cheney clan and because I really hate the failure that baking bread represents, I started my own tradition: pumpkin cobbler. All in all, a hit.

So although I will probably never dress up with my kids, and they will never EVER be allowed to be something gross or whoreish, I'll let them be cute little animals any day. In truth, Belle was going to be a hiker up until two weeks before Halloween. She didn't have an opinion, and well, we've discussed my penchant for Halloween, so my sister-in-law gave me the suggestion as Boo loves hiking with her daddy. I was going to go all out with a fanny pack and tourist hat and a walking stick and everything. But then when her Great Grandma asked her what she was going to be, she replied, "A white cat." Well, stripey cat was acceptable and so there you go. And of course my little bug is a lady bug. What else could she have been?

And so I present, Halloween-palooza.

procrastination at its finest

2011-10-29T16:30:00.006-06:00

What is that you say? We got back from Tennessee a week ago, and still? No pictures?

That would be correct. Because, you see, there are thousands of said pictures that I haven't yet sorted through. Why? Because these babies keep being cute and providing me with photos to post that don't require all the work that the Great Smokies will.

That said, I do have every intention of posting some of that goodness.

Just like I have every intention of cleaning my bathrooms.

Maybe after my babies stop being cute. So. Um, maybe never. :)

nostalgia

2011-10-27T15:22:00.000-06:00

So when I was in St. George for my sister's baby shower, I went to Target with her to register for a few things. She was asking me if there were any toys that she should really register for. So I took a peek and noticed this little soft book. I suddenly got all nostalgic. I suddenly recalled a soft plasticish book that we had when I was young. I don't know how many of us actually played with this book, but I remember it so clearly. It could unfold and turn into a triangle (as shown above, with a baby Marissa {the one having a baby any day now} looking in the mirror). And for some reason, I got a wee bit sappy and threw it in the cart for little Lou.

It turned out to be an inspired impulse buy as Lou Lou actually really loves it. While driving in Tennessee, it was honestly the only thing that would distract her for any amount of time. She loves staring at and talking to the patterns. And she's developed enough dexterity to actually grab it and chow its corners.

Isn't it so true that some of the most simple things means the most? In this case, it's a bit of nostagia and a plastic, soft book.

say what?

2011-10-26T08:16:00.000-06:00

I'm beginning to think this is going to have to become a weekly installment. Girl makes us laugh so hard every day. She's like a miniature grown up. And I love the honesty in everything she says. It's usually so funny, but also so sweet.

Put your belt seat on Mommy!

Welcome to my house!

{referring to an old historic home in the Great Smokies that she claimed as her own}

{when waking up and finding that Daddy hadn't yet

left to take his early morning pictures in the Great Smokies}

Daddy's still here!

{he subseqently stayed because of that sweet little sleepy comment}

{instead of napping, she tries to get anyone to come hang out with her by yelling...
Mommy! Daddy! Mommy or Daddy?! Mom??!!! ..... Lydia?

These {mini Reeses} are tiny like Lydia! Ooooohhh!

Oh! I need my biolin!

{a raquetball raquet that she uses as a guitar while singing Do-Ray-Me like Maria}

Mommy! I need a dress like dem!

{the girls in the Sound of Music}

I need a new dipe. I not seen so many pees.

{after I ask her if she can roll a ball out of play dough}

I can't. My hands are too leeetle.
+
When Lydia gets big she can sit by me and play.

{while looking at the dry river bed near Little Cottonwood Canyon}

Ohhhh. Look! The rocks are snuggling together!

{while Jess assaults her with kisses}

Don't Daddy! It scratches! Make it go away!

{after I explain to her that Mommy & Daddy need a

special card [recommend] so we can go in the temple}

Like Angel Moroni?!!
{she's really into Angel Moroni}

Me: Who does Jesus love?

Belle: Me...and Daddy...

Me: And?

Belle: And Mommy...and Lydia...

Me: And?

Belle: ...and...the bishop!!

Jess: Do you want to go to Wal Mart or Target?

Belle: The red store.

{Jess pulls into Target's parking lot.}

Belle: No, this is the wrong store. This is the red Target. I want to go to the blue Target.

{Jess drives to Wal Mart.}

Me: Boo, it's time for bed.

Belle: No, Mommy! I'm snuggling with Daddddyyyy!

Me: Nope, time for bed Missy.

Belle: Weeellllll...I'm stuck in Daddy's arms.

three months

2011-10-22T16:20:00.000-06:00

Little Lou:

Your third month was a busy one. I feel like this month you grew up into a baby, not just an infant. Ack. You're getting so big.

You weaned completely to the blessed bottle and formula. It was an easy switch, likely because you were finally getting full. This is likely why you also started napping and sleeping all night regularly - you weren't starving so you could finally rest. I'm really sorry it took me so long to figure it out.

In your third month, you took a cross-country trip to the Great Smokies. The plane rides were easy - you were a champ. Indeed, I think you were actually a fan because you got to be held for several hours at a time. And you experienced the baby backpack for the first time - a huge success in everyone's book.

That said, you had some of the biggest fits of your life while driving in Gatlinburg. The kind where you cry so hard you almost throw up and then when you stop you do that catching your breath thing for a few minutes. It made me cry too. And I made Daddy pull over frequently so I could pull you out of your seat and give you loves.

You started "talking." Not just the little coos and goos, which are also completely adorable, but also long sounds. You make the same mouth shape your big sister did when you get really into a conversation. Your sounds often sound like you're voicing complaints, but we much prefer these kind of complaints than the screaming kinds. In fact, by the end of the trip, when we had to drive back to the airport, you didn't cry at all. You just talk-talk-talked.

You started using your hands with a vengeance. You love to eat your fists, but you're also getting coordinated enough to scoop things up into your mouth. Your pink owl blanket is your favorite. Thing. In. The. World. And you especially love grabbing it up and smothering your face with it. You also seem to still prefer your left hand. You love your soft book that has all those patterns. It was the only thing that would distract you while driving in Tennessee.

You also really started loving the binky, which was quite timely as it was a huge help on the airplanes and in public to help keep you happy. You've started intentionally grabbing the binky leash or the binky if you can as well.

You're still the smiliest little thing we've ever seen when you wake up in the morning. I absolutely love your smiley morning face. Actually, I pretty much just love your face. Period.

We can't get enough of you my girl. Happy three months baby.

Here she is at one month.

Here she is at two months.

And boy, do I wish I would've done this for Annabelle.

southern hospitality

2011-10-20T21:46:00.001-06:00

So we're still alive. We're good and alive, in fact. Breathing in the beautiful air of the Great Smokies and enjoying the southern hospitality we'd forgotten we love so much. My girls haven't been loved so much by strangers...ever. And not in a creepy, obnoxious way either. In the cutest of ways. They are admired and cooed at almost every five minutes. The curls and the little baby cheeks and the simple joy of seeing happy little babies sends so many into a downright tizzy. And seeing my girls through complete strangers' eyes has made me fall in love with them all over again. I'm sorting through some of the (thousands - literally) of photos that have been snapped in the last few days (to pick some for The Daily Lou), and my goodness, do I love these pretty little ladies. I know I spend most of my time on this blog talking about how much I love these chicklets, but it's simply the truth.

*Photo of the Smokies by Jess. Many many many many more to come.

it's been said

2011-10-15T10:31:00.001-06:00

I try to write down all the excellent and ridiculously complete sentences that fall out of Annabelle's mouth, but I know that I'm forgetting so many. But as I've whined about, my brain doesn't store much information these days. So unless I write it down immediately, it's lost to the winds of silly sayings. Here are a few I've managed to get down. Some of these make us laugh just because they sound so grown up. Which she is much too quickly becoming. Ack!

Don't make a panda bear in your mouth! Make a kitty! {after I RAWR like a lion at her}
+

I wiped my boogers on the floor. {after I ask her what she just wiped on the floor, at least she's honest?}
+

{while getting ready to go to Grandma and Grandpa Cheney's house}
Did you tell Daddy we're going to his parents? {Whaaa?}
+

{after we asked her what the new stroller was for [our cross country trip]} For my babies!
+

I want chicken nuggets, a hamburger, and a san-ich. I want bowf.
+

{when we turn into McDonald's} Hey, it's Old McDonald's!
+

I want the deer song that I like. {Do-Ray-Me from Sound of Music}
+

Ray, a drop and goaden suuuunnn....Fah, a way I long to go...Sew, a needle fulling bread...
{our favorite lines from Do-Ray-Me [she sings the other lines correct, so they're not as funny]}
+

{after asking her which present I should buy Daddy for his birthday} Let's get bowf!
+

{the window on Belle's side in the car doesn't go up or down}
Mommy, my window won't shut. Let's get batteries and fix it.
+
Twinkle, twinkle little star, how 'bout wonder what you are.

Me: Where do you live?

Annabelle: In Gatlinburg, by mysewf.

Me: Oh, and where does Mommy live?

Annabelle: Ummmm, in St. George, by hersewf.

Me: And where does Daddy live?

Annabelle: In...Salt Lake! By hisself.

serious business

2011-10-14T08:11:00.000-06:00

So sometimes you get so caught up in taking the photo, you don't actually see what's happening in the photo. Until you upload it. And then you see the baby was working on some serious business. Cracks me up.

In all seriousness though, these two girls are becoming fast friends. Lou loves loves to watch everything her big sister does. She's smiley and happy whenever Annabelle includes her in anything. And Annabelle is the big sister I had hoped she'd be. She's sweet and loving and will do anything to help Lydia be happy. She's learned the art of the magic binky and is quick to plop it in whenever Lou's sad and I can't get to her fast enough. She loves to "hold" her and kiss her. She shares her toys with her and tells me all the time about when Lydia gets big enough to play with her. And maybe the cutest thing is when I catch her breathing in Lou's smell. Just like I do, she buries her nose in Lydia's head (because there isn't enough hair yet) and breathes in that pretty, baby smell.

I'm so glad they have each other. Even more, I'm so glad I have them.

daddy and lou

2011-10-11T14:35:00.002-06:00

There are few things I love more

than seeing my girls with their daddy.

It's possibly the cutest thing in the world.

These girls are so very loved.

I know that Jess would eventually like a boy.

But you'll never hear him complain

a single minute about these girls.

They are his heart.

And it makes me so happy.

plans

2011-10-10T08:02:00.002-06:00

photo: Casey Niederhauser

Way more actually.

The plan was to go on a safe date.
No pressure - he lived across the country.

Instead I found my safe place.

And married him.

Four years ago today.

Thank heavens for best laid plans.

love

2011-10-08T23:11:00.000-06:00

She's been dressing herself for quite some time, but this time
she insisted on actually wearing her fashion choices to the store.

(Thankfully, I talked her out of the sandals and sock option.)

With such an apparent budding fashion sense, I thought it

best that I grab the camera for documentation purposes:

As you can see, she's pretty much rocking it.

And then this happened:

So glad I had the camera ready.

So glad.

Oh, how I love these people.

fall(ish)

2011-10-08T10:06:00.003-06:00

So it looks more like winter than any sort of fall around here. But I'm told it won't last, that fallish temperatures will begin appearing on barometers around the valley next week. That said, the pretty leaves are likely gone by now. Either by wind, rain, or snow. Thank heavens Jess is a maniac and spent two weekends taking photos. These are a very random selection, photos I pulled as I uploaded photos of the girls. The man is talented. And honestly, those leaves do my soul so much good. Fall is such a beautiful reminder that change can indeed be good and beautiful. Most of the time change is hard, and I prefer to avoid it; but fall reminds me that maybe I should embrace it once in a while. Because look how much beauty the trees gain when they do.

wait, what?

2011-10-07T13:57:00.001-06:00

Let's talk about my memory these days.

Wait. What did I just say?

No seriously. That's how my life is. It's driving me INSANE. It's a side effect of a hyper thyroid. (Hashimoto's disease generally causes an underactive thyroid. But it's rebounding after pregnancy and having a gay ol' time being hyperactive instead, a whole new set of symptoms that I'm really not used to.) I'm told it will correct itself as my brain stops fighting my overactive thyroid. But honestly, it's driving me insane. For example, I forgot that I just said that exact phrase, "driving me insane," three sentences ago. ARG. I hate redundancy in writing, yet I'm fully aware that I'm regularly redundant. Why? Because I'm often missing half my vocabulary. At least I can still alliterate. (Is that a verb?)

I forget things within a time span of thirty seconds. I feel so stupid all the time. The memory loss isn't large, as in I remember how to drive a car or cut an onion, how to dress my children and keep them fed. And I know their names and their faces and their perfect eyes (seriously - their eyes!). But the small things disappear out of my mind constantly. Words are regularly completely absent, thoughts are sometimes impossibly hard to finish. I stare at my computer screen for full minutes sometimes, just trying to recall why I opened it in the first place. And finishing a single task is nearly impossible. I start one thing and then start another and then another until I notice the first thing is undone and then attempt to finish that. Or when someone text messages or emails me, I fully intend to promptly respond, but I generally can't keep my brain focused enough to do it until several hours later when I've recalled it many times and force myself to complete the task.

Losing. My. Marbles.

So if I seem to be a little slow these days, it's because I AM.

the first snow?!

2011-10-06T13:11:00.000-06:00

So just a few hours ago, I looked out the window and saw...SNOW. And because I'm a huge fan of snow, I announced it to Annabelle and Lydia. Annabelle, a girl of my heart, responded frantically while jumping up, "Let'sgooutside...and Iwearmycoat...and Iplayin thesnow!! Snow! The groundisgonna bewhite!" And she ran away to find her pants (because she's usually pantless at home, what?) and yelled at me to get her coat. Seriously. She did this.

And so I bundled up the babies and took them out for the first snow. As I've mentioned, pregnancy causes a bi-polar switch in me and I don't like the snow. At. All. But the good news is I'M NOT PREGNANT. And snow is beautiful and lovely again.

Belle went and stomped through the white, while her little sister sat by - quite unimpressed, might I add. Perhaps she'll share her father's love of snow. Which is nonexistent. Shame.

I realize that my fall foliage has probably been destroyed, but I have memory cards full of fall foliage to sort through still. And for now, we'll enjoy the snow.

let's get together (yeah, yeah, yeah)

2011-10-05T16:39:00.000-06:00

So we've never had a family photo taken. Ever.

You can blame me for this for the most part. I had no desire to document the chub that happened after Annabelle. In hindsight, of course, I regret it somewhat as we really don't have a family photo with our one baby family. But let's be honest - I wouldn't hang my chub on a wall anyhow. This year, with the amazing foliage changing color (a post is forthcoming - Jess has been busy), my father-in-law called for family photos. Jess scouted out a place up Big Cottonwood Canyon, everyone brought their cameras, and we took some pictures. They turned out great, especially with four babies to wrangle:

{Jess and his siblings don't look related. Good luck guessing.}

And then I had Jess put on a matching shirt and we took some timed photos with the tripod. So I suppose we still haven't had official pictures taken - you know, ones with a photographer and such - but these do the trick. The price was right and honestly, I really love them.

{Photo without both sun glare and a smile from Belle.}

{Photo with sun glare and a smile [of sorts] from Belle.}

Except those pesky ten or twenty pounds I could really stand to lose. But like most problems in life, I blame said pounds on the thyroid. You might blame it on my cookie dough consumption. Tomato, tomatah.

{Photo wherein I intentionally crop my gut off but make it look artistic with a little extra processing.}

question and answer

2011-10-04T14:02:00.000-06:00

So it seems a little early for this, but Annabelle has started the "Where does BLANK come from?" questions. It's often about her clothes or the food we're eating. But sometimes her questions are pretty random. We were driving up the canyon, and Belle asked us where the trees came from. Then she asked where the houses came from. I let Jess field that one. "Well, some people go to work like me...and when they go to work...they make houses?"

Yesterday, she came up to me and asked, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"

I'm. Not. Even. Kidding.

My mind instantly flashed through the many awkward conversations I had with my mom as a teenager. Oh the disgustingness of it all. So I took a deep breath and said, "When a daddy loves a mommy very much..."

Just kidding. I told her they come from heaven. Because heaven knows that answer makes much more sense than the conversation we'll have when she's a teenager.

over the shoulder

2011-09-30T22:57:00.003-06:00

She's at that squishy age where she fits just perfect right over my shoulder.

Indeed, she really loves it there.

If she had her way, she'd just bob her head on my shoulder all day long.

(And if I had my way, I'd be pretty okay with it too.)

a disease

2011-09-29T16:06:00.001-06:00

Last night, as I lay in bed, aching with exhaustion, I said to Jess, "I think sometimes we forget that I have a disease. I mean, literally. I have an auto immune disease. And it's never going away."

I visited with my endocrinologist today (thyroid doctor). We're working on getting my thyroid back to normal after pregnancy. I really love this woman. I love her for keeping my thyroid steady for nine months while it shared with a baby, and I love her for being willing to fix it now. It will take some weeks, but it will happen. She did an ultrasound of my thyroid as well. It was kind of fun to see my missing half thyroid, and that other spongy gross right lobe that's just rotting in there. The good news is it looks disgusting, but normal for my disease. No suspicious spots this time.

She rattled off a bunch of symptoms she guessed I might be experiencing - exhaustion, anxiety, ravenous hunger, depression, tremors (my hands) - and explained that it was normal and that we really could get it back to normal. It felt good to hear someone say that all this nuttiness is normal. I mentioned that I was weaning Lydia (we're down to morning and night feedings and neither of us have been happier since she was born) and she actually responded with enthusiasm. Because doing so will just help rid my body of excess hormones. Right now I just want my body back. I'll always need help setting my body right, but I really want to get it there. I mentioned my low carb, no sugar pregnancy diet, and she told me that I'd do well to stick to it. Forever. Most bodies don't "need" excess carbs, but mine just doesn't deal well with them. I agreed with her and explained that although I snitch, I'm sticking to it pretty well. (Minus that baby shower weekend, when I got sick as a dog because I didn't just snitch, I became a glutton. Gag.)

Anyhow, this is just me rambling and remembering. My disease isn't a big deal. In the realm of physical ailing, it's pretty much at the bottom of the ladder. I mean it won't go away, but it also won't kill me. I'll be affected by it forever, I'll balance it forever, and I'll blame all of life's problems on it forever, but it's relatively mild. I'm so grateful it's manageable and that I can live a normal, healthy life. One with babies and a redhead. And chocolate. And Diet Dr Pepper.

round and round

2011-09-28T13:01:00.001-06:00

If you're from St. George, you're probably like me, and when people mention they're going to St. George for a visit, you're like, "WHY?" The city really doesn't have much to do unless you have a strong desire to golf and/or sweat. Seriously.

Until now. Now they have a CAROUSEL. Mock all you want, but this thing is seriously the best. Why? Because it's something to do. We took the girls on our last evening in St. George. It was still six hundred degrees, but Annabelle loved it and rode three times. And as you can see, Lou was totally into it too.

oh how tweet!

2011-09-27T16:11:00.000-06:00

My sister Rissa - number three of four - is having herself a little baby girl in November. So I thought we'd have ourselves a little baby shower to celebrate.

If you know me, you know that I love spreadsheets and planning and bossing people around. So baby showers are right up my alley. Given the fact that I've given birth to my brain twice now and that planning had to occur in spare minutes when one tiny one wasn't screaming or one larger tiny one wasn't begging to play, I've been planning this shin dig for months. It actually worked out great that way, however, as I was able to just keep my eyes open for things that would fit our theme. And what a theme it was:

Not only am I obsessed with birds, but so is Rissa. Maybe not as much as me (?) but she does love them. I designed a few invites before this became the winner. And then everything else was inspired by it. I tried to do this on a budget, and this is how it broke down:

invites - Designed by me, printed at Wal Mart as photos - it's a seriously cheap way to print invitations and cards. That said, you have to get a few test prints done and adjust color and margins to fit accordingly.

decor - Because of my obsession, I've got random bird stuff that I was able to put to work. I found that {slightly strange} pigeon for fifty cents at the DI and spray painted him to match. The darling bird houses and bronze birds are my mother-in-law's. I'm completely in love with them and wish they could disappear into my own collection. :)

:: banners, cupcake toppers, food labels, etc. - Designed by me, printed at Alphagraphics - rip off - then a local St. George printing shop, Steamroller's - great deal. My recommendation is to shop around before printing instead of just using the closest place (like me). Alphagraphics was more than twice the cost of Steamroller's. I cut out everything as well, but using a cricut machine would be much quicker (I don't have one).

:: "feather" banners - I used this tutorial to make accordian streamers out of tissue paper. I used two bags of tissue paper (they're only about $1 a bag).

:: table runner - I bought two pink feather boas at Zurcher's ($5 a pop) and ran them lengthwise folded in half. It may be my favorite thing about the shower.

:: hanging birds - Spotted those lovely numbers in the dollar bins at Target.

:: food label clips - Dollar bins at Target. I found them just days before the shower and was more than a little excited.

food - I yo-yoed the menu around for weeks. Because the theme was "oh so tweet," I really wanted to do sweet treats only, but Rissa preferred to have more of a lunch spread. But then as I began pricing a real menu out, I realized that making just treats would save us money. And with a huge invite list (seventy people!), we needed a bunch. So we made everything (the day before, and wow did the kitchen get hot), and everything was "oh so tweet."

:: honey lime fruit salad - I make this recipe from Mel all the time. Kiwis, grapes, and strawberries are staples, but I also throw in random fruit all the time. It always works, and it's always delicious. We used half canned and half fresh and bought at Costco to save a little (and make a lot).

:: grandma's sweet rolls - These are my mom's sweet rolls, a favorite of our family. We tried making them tiny - and they are smaller than normal - but they turned out nice and fluffy and a little bit big. And a lot bit delicious.

:: almond Texas sheet cake - Many people are familiar with the regular chocolate Texas sheet cake (which I also love). This is the same, sans the cocoa and plus almond extract. It's one of my favorite desserts. And makes a nice big batch.

:: oatmeal chewies - This recipe is from Mel too. My Internet BFF. (But she said we could be BFFs so it counts. I love the Internet.) If you haven't made these, you haven't lived. They do have coconut, which some people balk at, but honestly, you don't even know it's there. It just makes the cookie moist and unbelievably delicious. (I didn't even use the word "coconut" on the food label so people wouldn't be scared.)

:: mint brownies - Uh, Mel's recipe. (Her recipes are my favorites, if you were wondering.) We doubled this and ate a truckload of batter.

:: mini cheesecakes - Oh hey Mel. Her recipe too. Rissa really wanted to make these. I'm so glad she did - they were delish. And so dainty and pretty.

:: orange-kissed cookies - These were made, but never frosted. We ran out of time and space on the table. But these cookies are honestly melt-on-your-tongue delicious.

It was super involved and a ton of work (and very little sleep for a few days), but it was worth it. Babies are so worth a celebration, and I wanted to make my sister's perfect. I think she liked it, and it's possible I loved how it turned out.

{Cue the truckload of photos.}

Photos by the youngest sister, Danielle.

fall and a moose

2011-09-22T08:44:00.002-06:00

It's heeerrre! We went searching for fall and found it. The leaves are switching. Glory, glory.

We went up to one of our favorite spots, Silver Lake, and as we rounded the first bend, bumped into this fellow:

Almost literally. There were groups of people standing around daring one another to run and catch him. Moosey ride anyone?

We just watched. And took pictures. And followed him around per the toddler's request. This was like the zoo. But real life. And she was into it.

And see that old man taking pics off to the left? He was a total crack up. He did indeed venture off into the marsh to see if he could cetch 'im a moose. He seriously ran around chasing a moose. Who does that? I think we mostly found it amusing because we knew that at least we wouldn't be the ones being trampled by a moose that day.

Oh, and please excuse the young one's apparel. She dressed herself. Just call her Little Orphan Annie-Belle. (I often do.) She's got the hair for the part in any case.

Oh, and the excuse for my look? That's called the I-don't-shower-on-Mondays look. You likey?

Welcome Fall!

two months

2011-09-20T19:41:00.001-06:00

I really don't have the words to say how much I love this little creature.

And another month under her belt almost hurts my heart a little.

The time with her is passing so much quicker than it did with Annabelle.

That said, I'm so happy that her second month was a happier one for her (and all of us).

Even more, I'm so happy we get to wake up to this smiley little gal.

The goos and the coos are like a drug - I seriously cannot get enough.

This isn't her best trait, but it is rather funny sometimes:

she can go from smiley to screaming in two seconds flat.

I love her face when she sees me for the first time in the morning.

I love that she knows me. And loves me.

It's amazing how much love you feel from a little person who can't say a word.

And it's even more amazing how much you can love that little person.

So happy she's ours.

Here she is at one month.

consumption

2011-09-16T12:03:00.003-06:00

So when I'm not drinking Diet DP, I'm drinking water. Lots and lots of water. Not really. I hate water unless I'm working out. And let's just say I haven't been drinking much water lately, so...I drink this:

All. The. Time. It's seriously soooo good. And it doesn't exit from a cow, which is a bonus. Winning! And that there almond milk is especially delicious with this cookie dough:

I mean, the cookies are pretty good too (um, the word Nutella is in their name, how could you go wrong?), but the dough? Delish. And it doesn't have eggs, so pig out my friends. Pig out.

And for lunch? Our current fave is Chick-Fil-A. I'm obsessed with their little chicken nuggets. I realize they're greasy and salty and fit great in my stretched out doughy belly. But I'm pretty much addicted. And they have Diet Dr Pepper. I always wished I could get Diet DP through the drive through...and look at that. Addiction on demand.

And then I usually have a little nibble of this:

Perhaps a small bite of of this:

And there you have it. All the things I love to snack on. All. Day. Long.

the right formula

2011-09-14T15:55:00.000-06:00

I've written a couple potential posts about breast feeding and how hard it is and how I've been a few minutes away from losing my mind for most of the last several weeks. And how it wasn't just affecting me, but how Annabelle was beginning to suffer, about how I spent so much time feeding Lydia, Belle would lay next to me and cry. And then so would I. And then about how I started using formula with Lydia and how it changed our lives dramatically in all the best ways.

But the hard thing about breast feeding {or not} is how personal it is. I know it is because this is ridiculously personal to me, but probably not for the reasons you'd expect it to be: I'm happy that we've found a way that works for us that isn't exclusive breast feeding (we do both). Adding formula to Lydia's life has made her a happy baby. She doesn't whine all day because her tummy is constantly empty. She doesn't scream when she's not being held. She's content to be by herself sometimes. She coos and goos and smiles so big her face disappears.

All those smile photos you've seen on this blog? All taken after formula was introduced to her life.

So because there really is so much to say about this topic I'm going to try and say very little. Just this: every mom and baby and family has to do it their way. And they shouldn't feel bad about it, whatever way it is.

I, for one, am so grateful that life took a turn for the better before I had to be committed to a mental facility. I'm finally really enjoying having two babies. Like really reveling in the minutes and seconds that tick by. I'd wondered what was so different this time around. I mean, I loved my babies and still loved being a mom, but this was so much harder and more exhausting. The feelings of inadequacy were devastating really, and I wondered how I was ever going to make this work. And so I did things a different way. And I'm truly, honestly loving being a mom of two now, just as I knew I would. It's still not easy; in fact, my bathroom is several shades of disgusting and I still rarely wash my hair. But it's wonderful.

And to see this face...

...every day has made it all worth it.