Thursday, November 12, 2009
things they don't tell you
The baby weight does not "just fall off."
Not for all of us. In fact, in my case I'm pretty sure it fell on. Now I only nursed (if you can call the meager supply I had "nursing") for about a month, so I'm sure that didn't help much, but really? I know some of you walked out of the hospital in your size zero jeans. For one thing, I've never worn size zero jeans. For another? I don't know if I'll ever fit in my jeans ever again. But with dedicated morning workouts and cutting back on the chocolate (just cutting back, elimination is like suicide), it seems to be slowly coming off. Slow. Lee. Like a turtle slow. Like watching grass grow slow.
Small accomplishments become huge victories.
This goes for baby and mom. Watching your baby figure out how to finally hit that hanging toy she's been waving her hand at for a week is literally thrilling. When she discovered that she herself could remove the blanket from her face (that she had put there in the first place), I broke out the pom poms. The world is new in her eyes, and I love watching her discover the things and abilities that I take for granted. But small things are huge for me too. Like when I finally got to the point that I could manage to put on makeup and do my hair (not just one or the other), I felt absolutely victorious. The week I managed to make it to the fitness center six days in a row was like one of my life's greatest achievements. I'm being totally serious. I felt like I should be bronzed. A nice statue of me would suffice.
The love is overwhelming, and it hits you when you least expect it.
You feel it the moment the baby is born, yes, but the moments, while they aren't constant, are also most definitely recurring. A few weeks ago, I was walking through the grocery store, chatting with Belle. And there was this moment. She looked up at me and grinned. And I was blown away, right there in aisle three, next to thirty different varieties of Mac & Cheese. Those moments of parental love, a different love than spousal love or sibling love or the love I have for my parents, are incredible. They convince you that you can be a parent, that even if you don't manage to put on the makeup and do your hair and work out and discover the cure for cancer, you will always love that baby more than yourself. And that feeling is reassuring.
And of all the things they don't tell you, and there are many, this love is the one that makes it all totally worth it.