Dear Veggie Straws:
Thank you for keeping my child fed. Besides her beloved formula, you are all she will consume these days. Also, I think you're rather tasty myself.
A Happy Mother
While I think your customer service is better than Sprint, I hate my phone. Actually I hate my phoneS. Plural. You gave me three of this model because, to make a long story short, it SUCKS. And the refurb you gave me, while at least it stays on, is old and the buttons are child sized. Also, it takes junky photos. My family is loving the blurry pictures of my daughter.
I hear that you'll have the iPhone soon. I'm going to start including you in my nightly prayers.
I Might Throw My Phone in a Lake
P.S. If my phone accidentally ends up in, say, a lake, will you give me a new - and totally different - one?
Dear Mini York Peppermint Patties:
I love you. Fifty delicious calories of minty goodness. And because you sort of blow the tasebuds, I don't want to consume you en masse, thereby decreasing my treat eating caloric intake.
A Half Attempt to Cut Back on Chocolate
Dear My Kitchen Cafe:
Without your recipes, we would starve.
Without your buttermilk banana bread recipe, we would die. Also, so would a lot of bananas.
Your Portly - but Devoted - Disciples