Tuesday, April 13, 2010


Dear Veggie Straws:

Thank you for keeping my child fed. Besides her beloved formula, you are all she will consume these days. Also, I think you're rather tasty myself.

A Happy Mother

Dear Verizon:

While I think your customer service is better than Sprint, I hate my phone. Actually I hate my phoneS. Plural. You gave me three of this model because, to make a long story short, it SUCKS. And the refurb you gave me, while at least it stays on, is old and the buttons are child sized. Also, it takes junky photos. My family is loving the blurry pictures of my daughter.

I hear that you'll have the iPhone soon. I'm going to start including you in my nightly prayers.

I Might Throw My Phone in a Lake

P.S. If my phone accidentally ends up in, say, a lake, will you give me a new - and totally different - one?

Dear Mini York Peppermint Patties:

I love you. Fifty delicious calories of minty goodness. And because you sort of blow the tasebuds, I don't want to consume you en masse, thereby decreasing my treat eating caloric intake.

A Half Attempt to Cut Back on Chocolate

Dear My Kitchen Cafe:

Without your recipes, we would starve.

Without your buttermilk banana bread recipe, we would die. Also, so would a lot of bananas.

Your Portly - but Devoted - Disciples


Diana said...

Dear Shauntel,

You are wonderful. Durham will not be the same without you, and I am hoping that I can just continue to be your Visiting Teacher from a distance. We are going to miss you so much.


Your already bereft friend

jaesi said...

I say oh yes to all of these.
LOVE that banan bread- I need some right. now.

The Harrises said...

You really need to submit to Hopscotch. You're hilarious.

Jamie said...

Dear Miss Annabelle,

You and your Aunt Jamie will consume MANY, MANY, MANY, veggie straws when you come here because as you, I love them too!!

Melanie said...

Funniest post ever. And thanks for the letter. I feel quite honored. And just to make you feel better, I will be portly right there with you.l

Riss said...

What would we do without Aunt Marilyn?


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