Thursday, December 31, 2009
Sometimes I'm a holdout just for the sake of being a holdout. When I received an invite to Facebook from a friend and saw that my grandmother's sister is on, I realized that possibly I am the last and only living holdout when it comes to Facebook. But my postponed viewing of New Moon wasn't so much because I was being an obnoxious holdout so much as it was because Twilight was so UNDERWHELMING and didn't give me much of a reason to get excited about its sequel.
But I finally saw it. And here's what I have to say:
1. The vampires look so much better than they did in Twilight. As in not totally lame. Thank you big budget for allowing Carlisle to look almost like my imagination made the vampires look. Their lipstick wasn't half bad, and their eyes were rad. R-A-D.
2. Jacob's long hair. Come on. Why bother with that ratty, nasty thing?
3. The first time a werewolf emerged from the brush, I laughed outloud. It was pretty good CGI, but still, I laughed. I also snickered a few other times when the rest of the audience was swooning.
4. Why are these movies so dang slllloooowwww? Arg. More than once, I wished I'd brought my pillow so I could take a snooze while the always moody characters worked through their angst, always averting their eyes as they spoke so emotionally. (Seriously - why can't they talk and look at each other at the same time?)
5. The moment that Bella runs to save Edward and flies into his arms, that moment? That is the reason that pre-pubescent girls, stay at home moms, and grandmas alike, plus some of your husbands, love Twilight. It's that moment that we all want - we're searching for it, longing for it, hoping for it. We all want to feel that love, both from someone and for someone. That all consuming, overwhelming, can't-see-straight kind of love. And I think that some of us have it, or more correctly, have had moments of that love. Some of us are still looking, and some of us are trying to find it again.
Whatever the case, that is why even if you're in the Taylor Lautner camp (yes, he's wayyyy hot), there is something in you that longs for an Edward of your own. Not a vampire, not someone who secretly wants to eat you, but someone who loves you, every single ounce of you.
But still. I wish I'd had a pillow.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
As many of you will recall, we didn't find out if we were having a boy or girl when I was pregnant with Belle. (Remember - "Ha! It's a girl!") Due to this lack of information, my mom basically crocheted an entire layette for either a boy or girl, including sweaters, burp cloths, blankets, and booties. Included in the pretty little pieces were blessing (christening) ensembles. The beautiful dress that she had crocheted for Annabelle was tiny. Too tiny for her projected baby blessing date at the end of the summer.
So Grandma and her flying fingers had another dress made before the sun rose the next day - still beautiful, just a little bigger.
Then, we decided that we'd do the blessing at the end of the year, at Christmas, when more family members could assemble.
So Grandma's flying fingers went to work again and created a dress for a six month old. Of course it was still exquisite, and Annabelle considered herself lucky to be worthy of yet another dress.
And then Annabelle decided that being average was way over-rated. And the "big" dress was soon obsolete.
Grandma went to work once again, this time making a dress for a one year old baby, adding length for Belle's new height. She added a new (bigger) sweater, with beautiful matching pink trim and rose buttons, and then created a new bootie pattern that would accommodate her bigger feet.
And finally, after four dresses, our baby Belle was blessed in a dress made (four times) by her Grandma.
She was exquisite, the blessing was tender, and the fourth dress was the most beautiful one yet.
Thank you Grandma.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Christmas is a totally different experience when you're small. Everything is new and magical. For Belle, it's mostly about the PAPER. CAN I PLEASE EAT THE PAPER? Someday though, she'll be waiting to hear Santa's sleigh bells, just like I did (and still do when I'm at my parents'). Someday she'll be hoping and wishing that she got that one perfect gift. And the magic of Christmas that is a distant memory of mine is suddenly being revived. A breath of fresh air has been blown into Christmas.
And it's magical.
We had our own Christmas in Durham before we left. This is Belle opening her first present - a doll named Belle, from Beauty and the Beast (it's the baby version).
Monday, December 21, 2009
So the husband spent some time in Zion National Park a few days ago. It's possibly his favorite place on earth to set up his tripod and snap snap snap away. He takes hundreds - and I mean hundreds - of photos. And they're so beautiful. We don't always accompany him on his adventures, so I love that so much of what he sees is preserved. I just perused his most recent collection, and came across this sweet little thing.
Possibly the cutest face I've ever seen.
Next to this one, of course.
But a close second, most definitely. :)
Friday, December 18, 2009
So if conventional weight loss methods - diet, exercise, starvation, liposuction, etc. - don't work in getting rid of those pesky last ten pounds, here's a suggestion: cut several inches off your ponytail.
I feel as light as a feather.
A feather that is a tad more billowy in the mid region...
...but a feather nonetheless.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
So we made our weekly trek to Sam's Club. And while we were walking down the aisle of huge hunks of cow, shrink wrapped and ready for carniverous consumption (ah, the alliteration), we hear over the loudspeaker: "Ladies and gentlemen, if you're interested in receiving a free paring knife - that's right I said free - just head on over to the red table, located next the potato chips and the wine, just in front of the bakery." I kept walking, but Jess was like, "Hey, it's free!"
So I listen to this dude make the announcement a few more times, and when he said it was my "last and final" (as opposed to my last and first?) chance to win a free paring knife, valued at FIVE NINETY NINE, I made my way over to the bakery area, next to the wine and the potato chips, and told the husband he'd have his knife.
So the dude jumps into his booth and starts making clever quips. And before we know it, dude is CUTTING A HAMMER with a stainless steel knife. A hammer folks. Then he whips out a tomato, slices it thinly (with the same knife), grabs the skewering knife and skins the other half of the tomato, and I'm like, as long as you don't want my first born child (I have my limits people), I'LL TAKE IT.
And so before you could say "smooth talking con artist," Jess found himself purchasing a lovely set of knives (with bonus Eurochopper, for buying NOW). So now not only can I slice tomatoes at the speed of lightning, but we can also serve sliced hammer, should our guests appreciate such fare.
And Jess has his free knife.
Monday, December 7, 2009
So my last year at BYU was a rough one: I had a really good friend, and roommate, who turned on me in a number of ways. She didn't know that her voice carried through the ventilation of our apartment, but I heard the things she said about me. They were untrue, and they were brutal. She and the new roommate didn't know that I knew they were leaving me out quite a bit, but I noticed. I knew that when one was going to "the grocery store" and one was going "to get gas," they were actually "going to Del Taco." I wasn't stupid. But I was hurt. And I can usually see a lie on someone's face.
In any case, it was rough. I was very much alone that last year. Luckily, I had my mom, who is always my friend - thank goodness for technology and speed dial. And then there was Meg Ryan (before that awful botching of the lips she had done) and Tom Hanks. Every night, when I'd go to bed, so I didn't have to think about being sad, I'd put on my favorite movie, "You've Got Mail." It wasn't so much on because I wanted to watch it; it was mostly on just to play the part of my friend. And I only had a few movies, so it was almost always the best choice. I'd fall asleep to it almost nightly.
Time passed, I graduated, moved home, and mended my very broken self. Looking back now, of course, it's a small bump in the long road of life. But at the time, it was serious. And ever since then, my love for "You've Got Mail" hasn't diminished. I know it inside and out. I can sing the soundtrack - I know the transitions between scenes. "You've Got Mail" is my friend.
And then I started dating Jess. Long distance. Often through email and online chats. And suddenly I was living my movie. (Except, of course, I knew who I was talking to.) I was ShopGirl and he was NY152. And life was magical, just like a movie.
And so my tribute to one of my favorites - some of the best lines. Those of you who have been sucked into this movie, as it so easily happens, might remember a few. :)
"For example, what should I have recently said to the bot-tom dwel-ler....who recently belittled my existence?"
"If I ever get out of here, I'm having my eyes lasered."
"What is that?! What are you doing. What are you doing?? That caviar is a garnish!"
"No, I am in the book business."
"Whatever it costs it won't be as much as that exquisitely uncomfortable mohair experience...that is now all over my suit."
"Joe. Just call me Joe."
"I'm in the middle of a project that needs a little...tweaking."
"She had to be! I knew she would be! She - had - to - be!"
"What about you? Is there someone else?" "No...no...but there is the dream of someone else."
"I once read about a butterfly on a subway, and today...I saw one!"
"Mr. 152 Felony Indictments." "Mr. 152 Insights Into My Soul!"
"I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address."
"Frank, I've decided I'm going to go the mattresses. Do you know what it means to go to the mattresses?" "Sure, from the Godfather." Dum, dum (sorry...the music)
"This place is a tomb. I'm going to the nut shop, where it's fun."
"We should bomb Fox Books."
"Maybe he's fat. Yep, he's fat. He's a fatty."
"Joe Fox. Tell me, how do you sleep at night?" "Oh, I use this wonderful over the counter drug...Ultradorm"
"It's like they're an entire generation of cocktail waitresses. Don't they know you're supposed to have a last name?!"
"So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?"
"If she turns out to be even as good looking as a mailbox, I'd be crazy not to turn my life upside down and marry her."
"The odd thing about this form of communication is, you're more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just wanted to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings. So, thank you."
Friday, December 4, 2009
POST EDIT: So apparently I'm not the only one who wants to marry these shoes. I've received some feedback indicating that they're going, going fast. If anyone wants to jump on the EasyTone train (they really do something, but don't expect major miracles), I've found Google's shopping function pretty handy. Those of you with normal sized feet will have the hardest time finding them. I suppose there are times it pays to have paddles for feet.
Okay, so yes, I totally fell for the commercials for the EasyTone shoes. As one who suffers from post pregnancy body image issues syndrome, I'll bite anything that says it will tone my legs and butt just by wearing them. However, before buying I did do some research. I read numerous reviews, and almost without exception, they were positive. People were very matter of fact about it, mentioning that of course you won't lose weight, per say, but that they did feel as though their legs did some extra work by walking on these shoes. (It feels a bit like you're walking on sand - you have to kind of balance every time you step.)
Now I have what my podiatrist has termed chronic Achilles tendonitis. This means that my Achilles tendon will flare up from time to time - almost always from over or misuse. The most recent bout occurred when, in an effort to drop pounds quickly (running really does it folks), I started running about three months after giving birth. (Previously, I had done almost exclusively the elliptical.) As it turns out, I jumped in way too soon. My podiatrist guessed that not only do I have the chronic thing going for me, but that also my tendons and ligaments had not yet hardened back up after pregnancy.
I rested for two weeks. Resting in my language means poking my eyes out. There is a part of me that believes neglecting a day's work out equates to automatic weight gain. (Remember when I mentioned I have body issues?) I did the ibuprofen, the icing. And it got sort of better. I can do the elliptical again, but most of my closet's footwear is obsolete as they touch my tendon (its scar tissue has made it bigger than my other foot's - awesome, ay?) and irritate it all over again. Most recently, my arch has begun to hurt, most likely plantar fasciitis, yet another running injury, Achilles tendonitis' first cousin. (Does anyone else feel like my right foot should be checked into a rest home?)
So I fall for the commercials. I buy the EasyTones. And I've been wearing them for a few days now. I don't use them to exercise, but I wear them during the day. And by the end of the day my legs are legitimately tired. But I'm not here to report about my newly toned calves or my ridiculously firmed butt (ha). I'm here to tell you that my foot - the one that needs a wheelchair, three Aspirin, and a nurse - hasn't felt this good in months. MONTHS. I go for hours without thinking about icing my foot. I walk without gingerly stepping so as to avoid undo pressure on my arch. I can touch my foot without wincing. THIS IS HUGE.
It is with great pleasure that I would like to report that I've canceled my foot replacement surgery (I'm sure I could find some third world country to do this for me) and instead I'M GOING TO WEAR EASYTONES UNTIL I DIE.
Note: I have one complaint about the EasyTones - the styling is a little....um...1980? I chose a pair that I found the cutest among their styles (pictured in the below post), and I do like them, but the shoe in real life is much more shiny in the plastic regions and is something quite reminiscent of the L.A. Gear shoes I sported in third grade.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
So today we went to Sam's Club, one of the best places on earth: chocolate sold in bulk, free samples everywhere you turn, and slightly discounted baby formula (expensive substance that formula). But today, this place won a spot in my heart forever. You see, the trainer at the check out counter, who we've talked to before because of our baby and the questions she elicits, said as our dollars went flying through the air with every scan, "Now she reminds me of that woman from Titanic."
"Me?!" (I honestly thought he was talking about Annabelle - although I really don't think she looks that old.)
When he applied in the affirmative, I sucked in my baby fat, and walked out a little taller. He was totally lying, and I look nothing like her (except that we share the same skin tone), but it did wonders for my self esteem.
As we left, he said to Jess, "See ya Leonardo."