happy mother's day!

Jess went to London a few weeks ago for work. He was gone from a Sunday to a Sunday. In the middle of the week, I got news from our PTA that I needed a door size poster done in two days. (I'm the room parent for Annabelle's class.) The original instructions hadn't made clear when we were making this poster and it had merely said "a poster." Given my utter disdain for scrapbooking and using scissors in general, I figured I'd just whip one up on the computer and have it printed. No big deal. But door sized and right now? Not the same.

I got out the measuring tape to calculate just how many posters I would need to have overnight printed to make a door sized poster. Too many. It would cost too much. And I realized I suddenly had a whole ton of work to do. This isn't my first run in with our PTA's inefficiency, and I was frustrated. Add in my single parent status and my hormone overload, and I came undone. Had a full blown breakdown.

The girls each looked at me and ran away quietly. Lou came back first with a small paper with L-O-U (the only thing she can spell) scribbled above a little blob person. In the way that is only Lou, she gave me a hug before I could blink and told me she loved me. Belle was right behind her. She smiled her no tooth smile that is so very much her and handed me a note that read, "I rilly want you to be happee uhbout the big poster. Love  Annabelle." Then out of her small hands tumbled a dollar bill and 76 cents in change. Her own money to pay for the poster. So I could be happy again.

Yeah, I lost it big time.

These babies of mine are my best friends. We were without our daddy, but we were together, and when I wasn't taking good care of anything, they jumped to my rescue. They knew what I needed and were happy to help. I truly can't believe how lucky I am to be their mommy. They're growing up so fast, and it's so bittersweet, but how I love that they are my friends, that we talk and giggle, that we take care of each other.

Being a mom is basically my favorite thing. Ever. The best job, the hardest job, the most rewarding and sacred job. And I'm so grateful. An infinite amount of gratitude is owed to my mom, the one who did this first, who gave me the chance to try to be just like her.

And how grateful I am for one more chance as well, for the tiny thing stretching out my belly, a visible and daily reminder of how lucky I am - to be a mom. It's the best.

Happy Mother's Day y'all.

Photos from my mom's wedding (!) in April. I look sort of like a pioneer, I know. But there's a ten week (food baby) belly I'm attempting to camouflage. :)

again?!

When we were in Hawaii in January, Jess and I both agreed we needed to try and get our butts back to the beach in 2016. It's the most amazing place in the world and we just had to try. We decided that if we started saving and planning now, it was doable, and the only thing that would stop us is a nine month pregnant me or a tiny baby. So realistically, looking at our odds, we started planning on Hawaii 2016. 

One morning in March, I sat down next to Jess. He was perched on the side of our bed, sliding his (almost) matching socks on. "I don't think we'll be going to Hawaii next year." My comment came totally out of the blue, and he turned to look at me. "Whhyyyy..." I tried to be serious, but my face about fell off from the smiling. "Whaaa...wait...are you...are you pregnant?!"

I had tested early because that's what we Hashimoto's people do. I'd been testing and testing and testing early for two years. But this time I knew it was different. The whole month I knew. I woke up at 3 a.m. and I knew. And I was right. And I was so happy I couldn't sleep. I got up no less than ten times to stare at that plus sign, the one I'd been hoping for. This was real?! And even though at the time of the first test, our baby was the size of a poppyseed, the happiness was tangible immediately. Another baby?! We get to do this again?!

We get to do this again!

+ The baby will be about three months old at Hawaii time. Given the germs, we're out. Not to mention my (emotional) recovery and the hormones that shoot out my eyeballs with wild abandon. I'm basically a walking human hazard.

+ I've been soooo tired. Thus the lack of blogging. I seriously would rather sleep than almost anything.

+ I've been barely sick at all this time around! Not a single puke! Just super hungry constantly. I've had to change up my diet because of kidney stone indicators (I think it's sort of bogus), but what's new? I love not eating what I want when I'm pregnant! Doesn't everyone?! Not cool kidneys. Not cool. 

+ This bean will make an appearance in October. I'm technically due October 31, but I find that holiday to be the most distasteful day of the year and will be doing aerobics to bounce the kid out a week early. (Seriously.) Or I will cross my legs until November 1 if that's what it takes. No lie.