If you're close to us, you know this; if you're not, you can probably guess. We've been ready and willing to have another baby for a few years now. I've spoken in veiled terms about the past few years, but it's been a rough go. Things just didn't go the way we planned in so many ways. But we've learned so much about a bigger plan; we practiced patience. Heaven knows I'm just about as impatient as they come, so I can use all the practice I can get.
In many ways, not being pregnant during those rough months was a blessing because pregnancy is not easy for me. No not one bit. But I've never stopped wishing and hoping and praying that we might get one more miracle. My thyroid disease makes things tricky. Indeed, it places our Annabelle and Lydia Lou in the miracle category.
In my heart, I don't feel like we're done. I feel like another baby will come our way someday. But as I thought about this the other day - as I often do - I realized this: if this is the family that Heavenly Father wants us to have, I couldn't ask for anything more. These two babies - these sisters that were no doubt angelic best friends - were meant to be here together. They are incredibly amazing babies with kind and wise souls that came quick and just when we needed them. They are everything to us; and they are everything we could've ever dreamed of.
And then there's this - they are everything to each other. These two girls could not be more different from one another than they are. Where Annabelle is calm and collected, Lou is wild and unpredictable. Where Lou is the epitome of happiness and there isn't a thing in the world that will get her down, Annabelle is deeply sensitive and tender and feels the sorrows of the world in the deepest parts of her soul. Where Annabelle is cautious and observant, Lou is unabashedly brave and confident. They are the kind of opposites that provide almost exact balance for one another. They are the best kind of sisters - they rely on each other, buoy each other up. They drive each other crazy one second but then I'll hear them quietly apologizing and hugging it out the next. They live in the same imaginary world, yet each of them give the other space for their way of interpreting things. They respect each other. They love each other. They protect each other. And together, they can accomplish anything. I suspect the two of them will be conquering the world together always.
I'm not done hoping. But if these are the babies allotted to us, I offer up all the gratitude in my heart for two such as these. For two girls who are their own little jigsaw puzzle, their pieces fitting just right. For babies who fill us with joy and love until we burst. I couldn't ask for more.