Thursday, March 19, 2009

sweet dreams

So I've figured it out.

The reason babies keep their new parents up all night is not actually because they're hungry, cold, have a diaper they'd prefer be changed, want some extra love, etc. It's actually something that can be blamed on the mother. And the point of blame begins even before the baby is born. Think about it. For nine months, the poor thing is consistently awakened all through the night (at least every fifty three minutes) when Mom gets up to waddle her way into the bathroom. Baby's just trying to get some quality shut eye, but can't even complete a proper REM cycle due to Mommy's new bathroom habits. (Granted, Baby is essentially the reason Mommy's habits have changed, BUT STILL. Where do you expect the poor thing to wedge its foot? It only has so much room to work with.)

Not Baby's fault.

Since this discovery, I've tried to be very discreet in my nighttime treks to the Ladies. I sort of slither out of bed, slide my belly off the side in a nice fluid motion, and glide into the bathroom, thereby keeping Baby's sleep interruptions to a minimum.

Pretty sure that upon its entrance into this world, Green Baby will thank me for my efforts with long nights of uninterrupted sleep.

(A girl can dream.)

1 comment:

Sabrena Suite-Mangum said...

Shaunts -
Regarding your last post... you should totally check out the book "Raising Baby Green" by Dr. Greene (seriously!)

And in the immortal words of Justin Bateman on Juno "Why does everyone say yellow's a neutral color?" ;)

Love ya!


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