competition

So the best thing about running is that you can do it by yourself, on your own power, anywhere in the world. It requires personal motivation and mental strength. And that was what had stopped me from trying out cycling or spinning all these years. I naively assumed that it was everything running wasn't.

I'm an individual exerciser, if there could exist a term. It's my time. I don't like sharing it. It sounds selfish, but part of my reasoning lies in the fact that I don't like the urge to compete when I'm working out with others. (Because the competition in my own head is bad enough.) I can count on one hand (with two fingers) the number of people who I've "allowed" to run with me, and they had the "privilege" because they weren't competing with me - they were encouraging me, pushing me, and training with me (and I seriously owe them). And they were my best friends. The thought of biking with dozens of other people was so intimidating, especially as a beginner. Have you seen how chilseled bikers' legs get? Have you seen how lumpy pregnant women's legs get?

But as I said before, my feet went to pot, my stomach is struggling to recover after pregnancy, and so I sucked it up. And spinning has been everything I didn't expect it to be. Yes, I feel a sense of competition in the room, but still the competition is with myself - the constant inner desire to push myself, to fight the burn in my quads, to "run" the hypothetical hills. (I love that we call it "running" and "jogging" when we're going up hill. :) ) But I don't know any of the other cyclists in the room - some professional, some even more beginner than me. I just know that we each have our own bike, and we're each on our own when it comes to accountability for our workout.

When you're running, you really can push a running partner by running faster. The other person feels obligated to keep up. Spinning is done on a stationary bike - no one can really move ahead. It's a beautiful concept really - every person in that room is competing with their own RPMs, their own personal "base."

I still wish I could walk out the front door and take off. I still wish I could rely on this new mode of exercise wherever I go. I would give anything to have my old feet back and take to the road for a couple of miles. But I have to admit that I really love the room of whirring legs. It's still something that I can do by myself, on my own power, under my own mental competition.

Plus, my quads are getting ridiculously tough.