one year

My Sweet Belle:

It's perhaps one of the more cliche and most oft repeated phrases a parent utters, but I swear just yesterday we came home from the hospital - you in your little duck outfit (gender neutral in all its yellows and greens, with a duck on your cute little bum), me in a hazy cloud of postpartum hormones and sheer bliss. 

I knew they would fly, but the days passed quicker than I ever thought possible. Still, each morning I wait to hear your cries or your happy chit chat floating from your room, anxious to see what you'll discover today. Watching you grow has been my greatest joy. Your presence is our privilege; we know we are so lucky.

When you were just a few weeks old and our helper Grandma had left and Daddy was at work, I needed to run to the grocery store. Of course, it was a major strategic operation, timing it just right so I could stuff your tummy full, then hop in the car before you realized you were hungry again (you were always hungry in those first weeks). But I did it, and I think I even managed to put make up on. 

As I pulled into the parking lot, I suddenly missed you. It sounds strange, as you were right there with me, and it had only been fifteen minutes or so since I'd put you in your car seat. But I suddenly wanted to snuggle your tiny body, breathe in your perfect baby smell, that mix of newness and baby lotion all swaddled up. I parked the car, turned it off, slid into the backseat, and took you out of your carrier. And I snuggled you for a few minutes. And those moments were perfect and beautiful and exactly what I needed.

The most wonderful thing is that those moments just keep coming. Even though you're getting so big, I still have moments where my heart aches a bit, when I need to find my girl and squeeze her close. Because every time I squeeze you, you're a little bigger. But the moments continue to be lovely and perfect in all their change. 

I love that you can hug me tight, that when you haven't seen me for a few hours, you grab my face and give me a big kiss, over and over, as if to make sure I'm really back. That unconditional type of love is priceless, and I'm convinced that a wet one from you could make the coldest heart turn warm in an instant.

You are my greatest joy sweet Belle, and you always will be. I hope you know I would literally do anything for you. As my mom always says to me, I love you to the depths of my soul and back. And more.

Happy first birthday my sweet girl.

All my love,
Mommy