Friday, August 26, 2011



I just wanted to say that I'm sorry I doubted you when you said you needed to use the big girl potty at the store. You were in a diaper, and I was worried the ticking bomb that is your sister's hunger meter was about to go off, so I didn't worry too much about it. When I told you we were on our way home and asked if you could hold it, you said you could. Even then I didn't really believe you. But I was wrong. You were dry when we got home and used the potty just like you said you needed to.

I think sometimes you're more grown up than I give you credit for. Thank you, my sweet girl, for being my grown up baby. And thank you for being patient with a mom who's using you as the trial run. Unfortunately, as the first child, you're kind of stuck with that. But I'm learning, and I'm so grateful I have you. You make me believe in myself. Even more, I believe in you.

I love you sweet girl.



This morning was a busy morning. We had to hurry and get out of the house so I could get my blood drawn, and so I multi-tasked like crazy on you. While I was quickly putting my face on, I put you in your swing. And although you were happy for a while, happy turned to sad. I was almost done and knew you weren't hungry or hurt, so I let you cry. And my heart cracked in a hundred pieces while you did. When I picked you up, you buried your face in my chest, curled up in a ball like you always do, and whimpered into my shoulder. You just wanted Mommy. My heart broke into a hundred more pieces. And I'm sorry I ignored you.

Unfortunately, as the second child, you have had to cry more than your sister did. I have to be more now - to you, to Annabelle, to our family - and so I have to let you swing sometimes. Please know that if I had my way, I'd hold you close all day. Because one day you won't fit in that snug little ball on my chest. And I'll miss it so much.

Anyhow, I'm sorry sweet baby. Please know that although I let you cry, I didn't stop listening. I'll always be there, and I'll always love you, even when I can't snuggle you.


1 comment:

Riss said...

I love how Belle is lounging on the side of the picture with Lydia. She must be drinking her nilk. :)


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