Wednesday, August 10, 2011

letters


Dear Mam Pacifiers:

Do you hear that? Yeah, me neither. It's the sound of NOT SCREAMING. And we have you to thank. The only way you could mean more to me is if you were dressed in a can of Diet Dr Pepper.

Signed,
I Just Got A Little Sanity Back

+

Dear Diet Dr Pepper:

I think that the moms who say they don't drink caffeine in the first weeks of their babies' lives are fibbing. Because I find you absolutely necessary. Perhaps all those other moms missed that clause in the contract they signed at the hospital, that one that signs away all rights to sleep but does give you the Dr Pepper provision.

Signed,
Addicted

+

Dear Tortilla Land tortillas:

Not only are you delicious, but you're made of just five ingredients instead of a litany of chemicals and preservatives found in the packaged, cooked kinds. Also, you're made with wheat flour. Will you marry me?

Signed,
Yes, I Eat Them Raw

+

Dear Resolve to Not Eat Sugar:

Who was I kidding?

Signed,

3 comments:

lichelle said...

I love this post.

You make me laugh.

jaesi said...

oh yes. caffeine makes it ALL worth it.

TysonandMarthaGerber said...

I love when you post letters. Quick, easy and sooo true.

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