Tuesday, February 14, 2012

my heart

It seems that there is a lot of heartbreak going on around the world these days. I'm just constantly struck with the intense desire to hold a baby on each knee and hunker down somewhere safe with some Diet Dr Pepper, some chocolate, and of course, some baby formula. Because WHAT ELSE IS THERE? My heart is continually tender, especially when I take a real moment to let it all sink in. How much I have. How full my heart is.

Weeks ago, while trolling Pinterest, I came across this. I'd pinned the quote before, but it really hit me in that moment. The way I carry those that I love in my heart so literally, the way sometimes my heart aches with happiness, because it's so very full. And of course, then I look at my babies. And my heart practically weeps. Sometimes my eyes do. I look at all the hurt that happens in this world, and I know I've had some and will have more, but right now, these moments filled with baby slobber kisses and toddler sentences, they're precious and fragile and I want to box them up and keep them in my heart forever. And so I do. I carry them in my heart. I hope to always carry them - and those that I love so dear - in my heart. And I want them to know that.
I sent this card to family members this year. And Annabelle helped me assemble some simple bracelets made out of felt and jute twine. For Annabelle, inspired by this pin, I made a simple puffy heart.

And I pulled her onto my lap and I explained to her, as I have a million times before, that she and little Lou Lou are my heart. And that when she sees this heart, she can remember that, she can remember how much I love her. She took the heart with big eyes, held it to her own heart, closed her eyes, and squeezed it tight. And I almost cried. She's been carrying it around all day, a simple reminder of how much I love her.

My heart is full. I carry so much loveliness in it these days. And for that I'm so very grateful.

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