Saturday, January 5, 2013

resolutions

So I customarily do not sit down and write down New Year's resolutions. I really hate failing. And having things permanently written down staring at me all year? Those are just etches on paper daring me to fail. So I never do it. This year, however, I made secret, silent goals. Some made deep down inside that I knew I couldn't mention to a soul for the sharp fear of failing. But here are a few:

+ Learn to bake bread. I not only did this - I MASTERED IT. And believe me when I say I was terrified to try. So silly. But my whole grain wheat bread (Bosch's version) was the stuff of freakin legends. I'm kind of slobbering thinking about it.

That said, I also stopped baking bread this year. Because mid year I made a new goal:

+ Go gluten free. Forever. I started researching my disease and found that a gluten free diet would likely drastically improve my outlook if not my attitude. It has. And I dropped a couple pounds too, which I ain't complaining about.

Here's a side story: on Christmas Eve, when we visited Gram, she had a breakfast souffle that had been waiting for someone to eat it. All day. And she was all, "And there's no flour!" I didn't have the heart to tell her that the bread on the bottom had flour in it. And I ate a ton. The poor woman had been waiting so long for someone to feed.

I was sick as a dog that night. And broke out in giant acne three days later. Gluten free really is amazing guys. It's really hard to start. But it's not bad after a while. And you feel so so great. I have more energy, my stomach doesn't get bloaty, and my face is super clear. And if you search, there are great recipes out there that are gluten free. I will say that it is not cheap to be gluten free, however.

+ Run one mile. I mentioned this to my walking friend in the first months of the year. And she was all, let's go. I will never forget how my lungs burned when my feet actually left the earth for the first time in years. Like a painful re-awakening. But I loved it. I ran a few miles a day for several months. I also ran a 10K. I also stopped running altogether. And that brings us to the next goal.

+ Buy a house. This was contingent on God's timing and my husband's willingness. So mostly this goal involved lots of prayer. And my prayer was this: please please let us find a house by Christmas. My prayer was answered, and we indeed moved in weeks before Christmas. It couldn't have been a more chaotic time, and during the busy-ness of moving and packing, I stopped running. I started up a bit again, but found it to be freezing. So I'm back on the bike. Ohmygosh. I forgot how much I love my bike. Not to mention the fact that my sweat doesn't freeze in icicles on my face.

+ Read more. I couldn't even force myself to put a number to the books I should read. But my mind missed reading so much. I did indeed read a handful of books. More on that later.

+ Start a design business. I actively tried to not think about this for most of the year. So intimidating. So many ways to fail. But a few friends and my family told me I could do it. So I tried. And it worked. And I love it. I'm currently creating new inventory and loving every (midnight) second of it. 
And here are a few I failed at (that I'm willing to own up to):

+ Learn to embroider. I think this somewhat lost art is so beautiful. I'm still determined to learn how.

+ Become immersed in the scriptures. I hate that I failed at this. But I love the opportunity to renew and start over. I will try again.  Annabelle and I successfully read the children's Book of Mormon last year, which I loved. We've started again this year, and I'm trying to pair it with real reading that coincides with the stories she's learning. 

+ Attend the temple with Jess once a month. We did go a handful of times, which is a handful more than we went the year prior. So we made progress, but much more to be made here.

And I've got a new list of mental goals stored up this year as well. I feel like 2013 is going to be epic. Don't you think?

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