dear internet

I just wanted to apologize for how crabby I am about pregnancy. The fact of the matter is, I'm just not good at it. My body's not good at it, and I'm not good at pretending it's fun. Just when I think I can handle it, I get another piece of fun news or something else on my body breaks down. And when my body breaks down, so does my mind. And so I whine and complain and grumble.

Here's the thing though. In my mind, the pregnancy is totally separate from the baby. I know that logically speaking, pregnancy is what leads to a baby, but to me it's so very separate. In my mind, I just have to survive these nine months, and then suddenly a baby will be here. I know it sounds a little crazy, but it's how I cope.

But I realize that I'm a big whiny baby, and I wanted to apologize. In reality, I know I'm very blessed - blessed that I can be pregnant in the first place (and without much trying or thought about it) and blessed to already have a simply amazing daughter. I also know that while my pregnancy is one composed chiefly of discomfort after discomfort, it's definitely not as hard as it could be, and for that I'm also grateful. My body isn't "good" at being pregnant, but it doesn't fail either, and I know that is a blessing.

So I'm going to resolve (again) to just suck it up. And if I'm being honest, my new "diet" plan has me feeling light years better physically. Embarrassing, yes.

My apologies,
Shauntel

P.S. The very first thing I'm eating after the baby comes out is a big ol' cupcake with thick butter cream frosting. Oh man. A dream.