fingers crossed

I am currently knocking on a huge piece of wood and doing every other jinx breaking dance move known to man to say this: I think the fog has lifted. My brain seems more aligned with my heart, and the joy that I should've been feeling for fifteen weeks is settling in around my soul.

I'm having another baby!

That said, my relationship with food is dramatically (and hopefully not forever) changed this time around. Eating is basically a chore; very few things sound good and even less tastes good. I throw up anything that is too rich or spicy or if I eat anything in excess. I mean anything. Like mashed potatoes. Who throws up mashed potatoes? Feed me one bite too much and I do. (But they tasted so good!) 

I'm obsessed with fizzy drinks (the only solution to my always unsettled stomach) and Mott's Plus Light Apple juice (I sang its praises here, and yes, I'm drinking fake sugar this time around, no caffeine however), and only recently has chocolate become appealing again. And even though I throw up lots of what I eat, and I'm still spinning almost every day, the pounds are packing on. This body loves to hold on to weight when its pregnant, and let me tell ya, it ain't pretty. Don't expect a single belly photo, because there will be none taken. Yuck.

But the food issues are nothing in comparison to the brain issues that seem to have left the building. A strange appetite and an obsession with apple juice is much easier to cope with than senseless despair, and I'll take it.

By the way, I'm having another baby.

Yay!

Pictures are of Annabelle and her "babies." It's a serious business. While Lala Loopsy is her favorite child (the one with blue hair and a huge head), the others also call for attention quite frequently. She rocks them and keeps them warm and tells them she loves them. When she has to leave them she says, "I be back. I lub ewe." It's particularly adorable, and I hope that kind of love transfers to a new sibling.