Sunday, August 7, 2011

help wanted

So I mentioned that our Annabelle has had some adjusting to do to a new sister. But she's not alone. Of course it was to be expected, but all of us have experienced the adjustment to a new addition in one way or another. For me it's been exhausting. And not just physically, although it is that what with a newborn's sleeping habits plus a toddler's nighttime abandonment issues. It's been completely emotionally draining. I feel like I'm learning to be a mom all over again, and I wasn't a professional to begin with. I feel like a failure often, both because I can't give Lydia the attention I gave newborn Annabelle and because I can't give toddler Annabelle the attention she's used to having.
However, the adjustments have been made infinitely easier by the family we've had around to help, some of which made multiple trips between St. George and Salt Lake in the past few weeks just to make sure I didn't go bonkers. I'm so very very grateful for them, especially to my youngest sister who became an insta-nanny to Annabelle while we were in the hospital (and a dang good one at that) and to my mom. I feel like having my mom around when I have new babies is just par for the course, as though there isn't any other way. I mean who else would voluntarily stay up for hours at a time fighting tears with me while a newborn lays on a bilirubin bed? She's done it twice now. In fact, with Annabelle, when I had reached delirium, she laid on the hard wood floor and slept next to Annabelle with her hand on Belle's belly, to help her feel loved while that plexi glass bed fixed her sun tan. Add to that my pregnant sister who made the trip up alone for a forty-eight hour visit, just because she wanted to love on her nieces, and you've got one well taken care of little family.
They've made our adjustments to this new family so much easier, especially for Annabelle. I've been unbelievably grateful for extra arms to help her and distract her from the fact that her mommy isn't always available now. Plus, she's had almost 24 hour entertainment, something we're going to miss so much. And while there have been adjustments, each day gets better. Each day feels a little more normal as we all seem to settle into this new routine. Little Lou Lou has been a joy. It's so much fun watching her personality fill up that wrinkly skin. I love her little smirks and gummy smiles. I love her ridiculously huge eyes. I love that she's already a mama's girl (although it makes things difficult sometimes). I love that she's here. The changes aren't always easy, but the love for our new baby has been. She's just lovely, and we are so lucky.

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