wait, what?

Let's talk about my memory these days.

Wait. What did I just say?

No seriously. That's how my life is. It's driving me INSANE. It's a side effect of a hyper thyroid. (Hashimoto's disease generally causes an underactive thyroid. But it's rebounding after pregnancy and having a gay ol' time being hyperactive instead, a whole new set of symptoms that I'm really not used to.) I'm told it will correct itself as my brain stops fighting my overactive thyroid. But honestly, it's driving me insane. For example, I forgot that I just said that exact phrase, "driving me insane," three sentences ago. ARG. I hate redundancy in writing, yet I'm fully aware that I'm regularly redundant. Why? Because I'm often missing half my vocabulary. At least I can still alliterate. (Is that a verb?)

I forget things within a time span of thirty seconds. I feel so stupid all the time. The memory loss isn't large, as in I remember how to drive a car or cut an onion, how to dress my children and keep them fed. And I know their names and their faces and their perfect eyes (seriously - their eyes!). But the small things disappear out of my mind constantly. Words are regularly completely absent, thoughts are sometimes impossibly hard to finish. I stare at my computer screen for full minutes sometimes, just trying to recall why I opened it in the first place. And finishing a single task is nearly impossible. I start one thing and then start another and then another until I notice the first thing is undone and then attempt to finish that. Or when someone text messages or emails me, I fully intend to promptly respond, but I generally can't keep my brain focused enough to do it until several hours later when I've recalled it many times and force myself to complete the task.

Losing. My. Marbles.

So if I seem to be a little slow these days, it's because I AM.