one week

Annabelle celebrated her one week birthday by allowing mommy to get a four hour stretch of sleep! We think we're finally getting our days and nights straight as the last two nights she's only opened her eyes to be fed, whereas the first few nights she opened her eyes just to open them. Problem is, when those big eyes (we think they're blue - fingers crossed!) stare up at you, it makes it really hard to be mad, even at three in the morning. I simply cannot get enough of her, day or night.

So for those of you who are like, "Enough already! We get it - you like your kid," I'm sorry. I can't stop. I'm addicted. Totally addicted.

By the way, Diet Dr Pepper is back in my life. Addicted in that respect as well. ;)

daddy's little girl

So Jess was almost certain that we were having a boy. When I'd try to discuss baby girl names, I'd get little to no response because he was pretty sure there was no point. I thought she was probably a boy just because I wanted a girl so bad. While I was in labor, I told him that he wasn't allowed to "cheat," that given the fact I was doing the hard part of pushing a human out of my body, he couldn't look at the "parts" until I could too. Her actual delivery happened quick (although labor was long and induced), and when she made her appearance, my doctor carefully turned her around so we could see together. We scanned for parts among the mess of goo and her umbilical cord, a look of shock passed over Jess' face, and I yelled, for the entire hospital to hear, I'm told, "HA! It's a girl!"

Little Annabelle had some trouble breathing when she first arrived (we think she swallowed some fluid on the way out), so after I got a quick hold, and a tiny fist grabbed my finger tight, they wisked her across the room where a team of nurses and specialists started working on her. Jess and I just stared. I kept asking if she was okay. My doctor kept assuring me she was. She looked at Jess and saw his concern and told him to go to her. I was still "afterbirthing," but I shooed him away to be with our baby girl.

And in those moments, as he stood next to the crib of his new baby girl struggling to find air, I saw him melt. His eyes were filled with concern and love. I could see him wanting to reach out and touch her, just as I did from across the room. She has become his love. He thought he needed a boy, but suddenly the last thing he ever expected has become his greatest joy. It's the most wonderful thing to be a part of, to witness my husband's love smother our baby every morning. He doesn't ever want to leave because he'd rather just stare at her.

When we got home from the hospital, he scooped her out of her cramped carrier, wrapped her up, and disappeared into the bedroom. I found them sleeping soundly, his arm around his beautiful baby girl. It's impossible to not fall in love with little Annabelle. And her daddy, the daddy who was sure he needed his boy, is completely and utterly in love with this perfect little girl.

in love

How can one tiny person steal your heart so completely? Life mostly feels like a dream, even when we're up in the middle of the night. There is actually nothing I would rather do than stare at her. For hours. Even the crack of dawn hours. She's beautiful and perfect, and since she arrived it's as though everything inside me has slid into place, as though the puzzle that is me is no longer missing that vital piece, that one right in the middle.

I'll miss these first precious days, those little (loooonnngggg) fingers and toes that just keep growing, her little grunts in her sleep. The hours pass so quickly.

I'm so glad she's here, so glad she's mine.

introducing...

Annabelle Charlene Cheney
July 2, 2009
6:27 p.m.
7 pounds 9 ounces
19.5 inches

Yes! It's a girl!

bed what?

Two words: Bed. Rest.

Seriously?

My blood pressure is looking awesome, prompting the doc to put me on "bed rest." What is bed rest really? I've been a complete lazy butt for weeks now, due to back and pelvic pain that just makes me cranky enough to stop moving. How much more lazy can I possibly get? Do I have to lay out at the pool for a few more hours? Take another nap? I suppose I'll have to eliminate grocery shopping, my one recreational activity.

Don't worry - they hooked up the little one to a fetal monitor to have a listen. And then they'd come by to listen and just giggle. As it turns out, this baby was bound and determined to kick the monitor off my belly. Its movement was more than sufficient (if not excessive), heart rate was great, and it even showed off its hiccups (a good sign, it shows the baby's lungs and breathing instincts are healthy). Everything looks great, except my blood pressure.

You know how I've been wanting Baby to be early? Turns out there's a pretty good chance.

Excuse me while I go "rest."

all wrapped up

Ever since I can remember, my mom has been crocheting baby blankets. Sometimes they're the simple edged blankets, but often they're the real deal. I can recall dozens of blankets flying out of her fingers, and there are just as many babies who've been wrapped up in her creations. Through the years, she developed a system: one pattern for baby boys, one for girls. And I would watch those blankets twist into life and yearn deep inside for one of my own, for a blanket for my baby. I loved the soft yarn she chose specifically because it would be soft on a baby's brand new skin. I loved the patterns she chose and the precision with which each pattern came to life. I knew that someday...someday...my baby would be wrapped up in my mom's love.

When she came to visit a few weeks ago, she brought me my blankets - one boy pattern, one girl pattern, both white, both exquisite in their simple beauty. After she left, I buried my face in them. They smell like her, like home, and I know her hands so very lovingly created them. When I showed Jess the blankets, I couldn't quite find the words I was looking for to express how he needed to "Look! Look at these!"

For years I've watched these blankets stack up, and for years I've known that someday my baby would come home in one too. There is something unbelievably comfortable about knowing my baby will come home wrapped up in her love, a place I've returned to over and over again.

NOTE: If it's a boy, it will be the "basket weave" pattern on the left. For a girl, the "scalloped" pattern on the right.

opinionated already

So our baby is (already) quite particular and very choosy. For months, Little Cheney has been kicking for Mommy almost always, for others, almost never. Including Daddy. If you really want to feel the baby, you have to wait for its daily bout (or two) of hiccups when my stomach suddenly begins to bounce in rhythmic jolts. Other than that, it takes a lot of patience and a lot more luck.

However, in the last month, it seems that Baby has accepted his or her father and will now kick when Jess' hand is on my stomach. One night, or rather early morning, when I crawled into bed after being up all night with one of my pregnancy ailments (I forget which, probably my ever rotting gums), Jess rolled over and put his arm around my stomach. I promptly fell asleep, and my pregnancy snoring ensued. Jess reports that the baby nudged his arm off and on for a while. But when I let out a particularly man-sized snort, the baby pummeled my innards. This prompted me to sort of stir and stop snoring for a moment. I then fell back into my REM cycle and soon resumed my snoring. However, when the snoring again reached a decibel level that was unacceptable to Baby, he or she would unleash another barrage of punches and kicks until I stirred and the snoring settled again.

I think it's kind of embarrassing. I snore so loud my unborn child finds it annoying.

Awesome.

what a hoot

A few weekends ago, Jess had the chance to go to Jackson Hole on a mini retreat with the law firm he's working with this summer. My doctor let me know that she'd rather not have me birthing in the forest, so I got to stay home. (However, my sisters and mom came to visit, which was much preferred to watching people do fun things while I sat pregnant.) And of course, Jess packed his baby with him. It was pretty yucky weather, but he still managed to snag some fun wildlife photos.

I'm so excited to do normal people things again. Hike, bike, (wait, I don't bike), run, um, walk at a moderate pace, so I love these photos, small reminders that someday I will.

Also, I want to squeeze and hug that owl. Looks like a cuddly stuffed animal.

I need a baby. Seriously.

here's looking at you kid

So it's one thing to see the profile ultrasound pic of the baby (note the ever big lips - love, love them):

But it's an entirely different experience to be lying there, adoring those lips, when all of the sudden the face turns. And looks at me. And I know to you this looks more like an alien than a baby...

...but I'm in love already.

No, we STILL don't know the gender.

permanently pregnant

So I'm told pregnancy is not a permanent condition. I'll believe it when I see it. ("It" being Baby Cheney.) Because I feel as though this may go on forever. And for the record, I don't think my stomach can fit much more growth. The poor thing must be so uncomfortable in there. Every squirm from the babe elicits a shift of discomfort on my part. It's like we play tug of war with the space left in there. I rarely win.

In any case, I thought maybe I should look for the silver lining of the last four weeks instead of talking about how my body is otherwise falling apart. Here are a few of the things that are keeping me smiling these days.

1. Johnson's Bedtime Lotion and Bath

Have you smelled this? So I Iove the regular old pink stuff, and I have some of that too, given that it is a requisite purchase in that the smell of a baby is contained therein. However, this? Um, I want to pour it all over myself. It smells so delightful. I kind of want to eat it.

So sometimes when you're pregnant, you want to eat things that aren't food. Just for the record.

2. My jeans

Just wanted to say that although the baby has now dropped as far as it can possibly drop - sometimes I feel as though it would be most appropriate to pick my stomach up before I stand - I'm still wearing the one pair of jeans I bought for pregnancy. WITHOUT ANY RUBBER BAND TRICKS. Thanks to today's low rise trends, they still button just below my belly. And by the way, I am down to that ONE PAIR of pants. Seriously. No intention of buying more either. It's skirts and the one pair of pants from here on out my friends. Pajama pants if it gets desperate.

3. HGTV

So as you recall, I can't nest. Not appropriately anyway. But I've found a really good solution - HGTV. I watch other people nest. All. Day. Long. It's kind of an addiction. Okay, it's possible that I dream in re-design. Paint swatches. Floor options. And then my dear friend pointed me in the direction of this blog, and well, it is now part of my daily blog consumption. I seriously ache to paint a wall.

So while it's possible that I feel nigh unto losing my mind, I do see an end in sight. And I imagine that end will include late night feedings. And HGTV. :)