consumption

So when I'm not drinking Diet DP, I'm drinking water. Lots and lots of water. Not really. I hate water unless I'm working out. And let's just say I haven't been drinking much water lately, so...I drink this:

All. The. Time. It's seriously soooo good. And it doesn't exit from a cow, which is a bonus. Winning! And that there almond milk is especially delicious with this cookie dough:

I mean, the cookies are pretty good too (um, the word Nutella is in their name, how could you go wrong?), but the dough? Delish. And it doesn't have eggs, so pig out my friends. Pig out.

And for lunch? Our current fave is Chick-Fil-A. I'm obsessed with their little chicken nuggets. I realize they're greasy and salty and fit great in my stretched out doughy belly. But I'm pretty much addicted. And they have Diet Dr Pepper. I always wished I could get Diet DP through the drive through...and look at that. Addiction on demand.

And then I usually have a little nibble of this:

Perhaps a small bite of of this:

And there you have it. All the things I love to snack on. All. Day. Long.

the right formula

I've written a couple potential posts about breast feeding and how hard it is and how I've been a few minutes away from losing my mind for most of the last several weeks. And how it wasn't just affecting me, but how Annabelle was beginning to suffer, about how I spent so much time feeding Lydia, Belle would lay next to me and cry. And then so would I. And then about how I started using formula with Lydia and how it changed our lives dramatically in all the best ways.

But the hard thing about breast feeding {or not} is how personal it is. I know it is because this is ridiculously personal to me, but probably not for the reasons you'd expect it to be: I'm happy that we've found a way that works for us that isn't exclusive breast feeding (we do both). Adding formula to Lydia's life has made her a happy baby. She doesn't whine all day because her tummy is constantly empty. She doesn't scream when she's not being held. She's content to be by herself sometimes. She coos and goos and smiles so big her face disappears.

 All those smile photos you've seen on this blog? All taken after formula was introduced to her life.

So because there really is so much to say about this topic I'm going to try and say very little. Just this: every mom and baby and family has to do it their way. And they shouldn't feel bad about it, whatever way it is.

I, for one, am so grateful that life took a turn for the better before I had to be committed to a mental facility. I'm finally really enjoying having two babies. Like really reveling in the minutes and seconds that tick by. I'd wondered what was so different this time around. I mean, I loved my babies and still loved being a mom, but this was so much harder and more exhausting. The feelings of inadequacy were devastating really, and I wondered how I was ever going to make this work. And so I did things a different way. And I'm truly, honestly loving being a mom of two now, just as I knew I would. It's still not easy; in fact, my bathroom is several shades of disgusting and I still rarely wash my hair. But it's wonderful.

And to see this face...

...every day has made it all worth it.

meet rosie

For Belle's birthday, just a few weeks before Lydia's actual birth day, my mom and sisters (minus the sister who lives in TX) were able to come up and celebrate. I was big as a house at that point and really didn't feel like moving much, but we still managed to have a little party. They were very thoughtful and outfitted her with a new baby, complete with a stroller, (doll) baby carrier, and her very own crocheted (by Grandma) doll-sized blanket. It was intentional, of course, as they wanted her to have a baby of her own when I brought home a new baby. What I'm not sure they expected was that this doll would become the favorite. She does have a handful of kids that she regularly dotes on, but this one is by far the favorite. She will even tell you so if you ask. She smells like roses and when we asked Annabelle what her name was, she paused and thought for a few seconds, then said, "Rosie." (Similarly, when I asked her the Jazz bear toy's name, she paused and thought for a few seconds, then said, "Jasmine." Girl has naming skillz.)

And so Rosie Roo has become a regular member of the family. So regular, in fact, that she somehow whacked Lydia in the head yesterday morning. :) Belle loves this doll so very much and takes her everywhere. She rocks her and burps her and bounces her on her hip. What is rather crazy is I see myself in her. I know she's mimicking me, but to actually hear my words come out of her little body is so very strange. I'm told I was very much like Annabelle - a little mommy from the beginning. It's so so adorable and makes me so happy that I have a little helper.

victory!

See! I told you!

It took some patience, but we finally captured the smile.

Let's be honest, it was worth the wait.

Kid is so stinkin' cute.

operation smile

For all intents and purposes, Lydia is a pretty happy baby. However, she has two polar opposites: happy or hungry. And when she's hungry (which is like all day), we all hear about it. But when she's happy, oh man. The smiles are getting to be pretty irresistible. In the morning, we all clamor around her trying to get her to do the big open, gummy mouth smiles. She often obliges. But then when the camera comes out, she often just makes awesome faces like this...

...and this...

{that is totally a pee face on the right}

...or how about this?

But every once in a while, we capture a smile. Especially the classic one side turned up grin that she's been doing since the day she was born (literally).

And then she does cute ones like this...

But try as we might, we cannot capture the big, open-mouthed, gummy, so big it takes up her face smile...

...because for now, she's keeping that one under wraps.

we're baaaackkk

Oh hey. Remember me?

As it turns out, being a mom of dos is kicking my trash. Add an awesome breast infection to wipe one out completely (seriously - having a fever as an adult is pretty freakin' ridiculous) and some overmedicating of the thyroid (love that defunct organ, love it), plus a little post partum mixer, and you've got one total nut job.

Some people cry a lot when they're pregnant. No, I cry after the baby comes out. All the time.

Anyhow. We're still here. We spent the weekend in Midway at "Gram's special house," as Belle calls it, a cabin that the Cheneys have had in the family for a few decades. We were there for Swiss Days, a huge art and craft festival, but because of one infant's constant need to eat and the unfortunate condition that is breast feeding (less of a fan than ever), I was pretty much stuck at the cabin. However, it was quite lovely. And just what I needed really. An excuse to sit around and let my hormones swirl quietly (or not quietly). There is something about getting away to relax, even just 30 minutes away, away from the Internet and my Google Reader that is good for the soul.

It was good for everyone. Take our Belle, the girl who would live outside if she could. The best part about the cabin is the wide expanse of land behind it. Wide open spaces. And as far as she was concerned, they were wide open space made just for her.

{feeding Papa some hay}

One morning, I left the kids to Jess and Grandma so I could get ready. When I was done, I looked out the window to see what was going on. And I grabbed the camera and ran.

Because I'm pretty sure life doesn't get any better than this.

falling

So if you know me (or if you don't and you read this blog) you know that my relationships with summer and winter depend entirely on whether or not there's a baby growing inside me. In my real life, summer is death. When I'm pregnant, I love to bask. In my real life, winter is lovely and beautiful and I can tolerate snow for much longer than the average Utahan. When I'm pregnant, I throw fits. All. Season. Long.

But fall and spring? Now those are two seasons I can get behind. I'd totally run their campaigns. And I can't ever get mad at them. Ever. They're perfectly beautiful in all their growth and change, and they aren't too hot or too cold. I'm unbelievably excited that it's September. It means brisk air, and pumpkin cream cheese muffins, and walks with the babies. It means slowing down and staying in more. And this year, it means a trip to Gatlinburg, TN and the Great Smokies. One of our favorite places in the world.

Welcome fall. It's about time.

*All photos by Jess taken in the Great Smokies (in prior years).

it's been said

I've been saving up all the funny things Belle has said lately.

Seriously, this girl cracks us up all day long.

Here are some of our favorites:

That's like mine's!

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Get down Lydia! {when I was holding Lydia}

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Unbuckle it up Mommy.

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Your hair smells like Shauntel's. {after smelling my wet, clean hair}

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You smell like...paper. {after smelling my breath}

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This is me. I'm a big sister!

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I put the tiny-stinky-diaper in Grandma's pocket.

{translation: I put the tiny-stinky-diaper in the diaper pail that Grandma brought. Pocket = bucket.}

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I'm such a good mommy! {while bouncing and patting her doll}

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I'm going to my far away house! Bye!

{because Grandma Christensen and her aunties go to their far away house when they leave}

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There's a hole in Daddy's car! {after he waves goodbye out the sunroof}

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Daddy! Put your hand in your hole and say goodbye! {the sunroof}

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Mom...where's your spicy, black water? {An indirect observation on my Diet DP consumption.)

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{after I ask her how old she is} I'm a square!

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Don't cry crowny face! {to Lydia}

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I'm eating by myself. I'm doing such a good job.

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I want Nutella on a spoon, by the way.

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I'm just pushing my babies in the stroller and hanging out.

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{while driving to meet Jess and his friend, Ashton, for lunch}
Jesus loves me and Ashton loves me and Daddy loves me...

cuteness

So let's just say that yesterday saw my temperature topping out at 103.6. Mastitis.

In other words, breast feeding just keeps getting MORE AWESOME.

Sorry to all you folks who love it. I, um, don't.

But here's something we can all agree on: how ridiculously cute this babe is.

Pretty much the cutest thing ever.

But I'm a bit biased.

letters

Dear Hair Blogs:

Thank you for making filthy hair hip.

Signed,

Totally Haven't Washed My Hair For A Week

P.S. But you wouldn't know.

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Dear Big Dangly Earrings:

Thank you for distracting people from my greasy hair that hasn't been washed for a week.

Signed,

At Least My Ears Are Hot

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Dear Potty Training:

Isn't there a pill she could take for this?

Signed,

This Is Totally Disgusting

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Dear Nutella:

You were an indulgence when I was pregnant. Now you're just an illness.

Signed,

I'd Probably Eat Cardboard If It Had A Healthy Layer Of Nutella Spread On It

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Dear World:

I'd recommend just not talking to me before I take a swig of my morning Diet DP.

Signed,

I'll Probably Bite Your Head Off

P.S. At least I'm honest.