the winter blues

So I customarily love winter. I could roll around in the snow and then have an ice cold soda. No, really. Summer is a long, drawn out period of sweating, endured only because I know fall will eventually come. But when I'm pregnant - and this happened the first time around too, although not as violently as this time - I seriously want to kill winter. Death to winter. Death to cold, frigid, icy, tundra gross blah. I get pretty irrational about it really. When it starts snowing outside, I throw mini tantrums. Annabelle, who actually loves the snow, starts yelling, "Kuh kuh! Zno! Kuh kuh zno!" whenever she sees it because, well, that's what I scream while I roll around kicking on the floor. 

I want to bake. I want to literally consume sunshine. I've described it this way: In my mind I can take the sunshine, make a cheesecake, then sit and eat it - rich, delicious sunshine, bite by bite. It seriously "sounds good," and I'm just counting the days until I can sweat. Yeah, I have issues.

Anyway, these are some of the incredibly beautiful photos that Jess snapped in Yellowstone (before he took a nose dive and crushed his sternum). I seriously love them. And aside from the fact that I missed the family fun, I love even more that I'm not in them. Holy frozen.

And a few pictures for Grandma. Hands on her hips. Yep, she's that big.

Also, she totally chose that outfit, including the sweet too small, backwards pants. And yes, that disaster behind her? That's what my whole apartment looks like when I'm pregnant. I'm over it.

twenty at twenty

 My Belle, at twenty months:

1. You love, love watching Toy Story 3. You request "Woooo-Deee" all day long. Although you also love Buzz, Jesse, "pig," and "frog" (Rex, the dinosaur). You also love watching Beauty & the Beast, although you just call it "Ah-Belle," because as far as you know, you share names with the main character. (You also call any princess appearing cartoon "Ah-Belle.")
2. You know the entire alphabet (uppercase letters). You can locate letters when requested, and you find them on products, buildings, during movies, anywhere you can. You know the sounds of some of the letters, and often call U "umbrella."
3. You can count to ten, although the numbers usually get mixed up, and nine is often totally abandoned. But you have on several occasions actually counted in order by yourself.
4. You know the circle (sometimes you call it "O," and why not), triangle, square, and heart. Sometimes the star.

 

5. You really stink at colors. :) I think you sort of know pink, orange, and yellow. But mostly you just call everything white, like your blanket. Which is actually really cute.
6. You love to sing. Some of your favorites are "Farmer in the Dell," "Old MacDonald," "Once There Was A Snowman," and "Itsy Bitsy Spider." You also love to sing Katy Perry's "Firework." We'll hear you singing "Boom boom boom...moon moon moon" all the time.
7. Thanks to a certain aunt (Don Don!) who showed you this random clip, you now ask for pumpernickel all day long. All four syllables - pump-a-nick-o.
8. You love peppered beef jerky. I'm kind enough to give you the least peppery pieces, but really? You also love Cafe Rio's black beans and rice, which can likely be blamed on your mother's pregnant obsession with the restaurant. And you love milk. Just like your dad. (Yuck. Not like your mom.)
9. You've had a cold every other week for the last few months. (It's getting old, not because you're difficult - you're not - but because I get the colds after you.)
10. You know the sounds of the following animals: dog, cat, cow, horse, bear, lion, frog, duck, bird, rabbit (scrunched nose, no sound), pig, turkey, elephant, sheep, monkey, donkey, bird, chick, rooster, turkey.

11. You sprouted three more teeth in the last month - two back teeth and one front, bottom. This may be why eating is getting easier.
12. You gave up the bottle over a month ago. It was completely easy, and you never asked for it after the switch. (In other words, your mom is a chicken.)
13. When you go to bed, you always request a song, which means you want me to sing "I Am A Child of God." Whenever I leave the room, you say, "One more?" You usually win, and I sing one more verse.
14. You're not really interested in potty training, but you often insist on trying out your potty. Almost always, you fake "use" your potty, then run away and pee on the floor somewhere. Among the many cute things you do, this is not one of them, and your mother is quite content keeping you in diapers.
15. You know the name of every family member on both sides, through the great-grandparents, plus our relatives' pets. Some of our favorites are: Don-Don (Danielle), Ki-Ness (Kristen), and Coke (Courtney).

16. You love to steal everyone's seat. If someone stands up, you start giggling and say, "Ha ha ha ha! Mommy's [or whomever it is that left] seat! Ha ha ha!"
17. When you want to be held, you say, "Hold you?" Sometimes you say, "Hold you? Me?"
18. You're stringing sentences together all the time. At the store, I hear a steady stream of, "I want it. I need it. I want it. Hold it. I hold it. I want it." When you're looking for someone, you ask, "Daddy, where awe you?" When you do something funny, you announce, "Siyee Ah-Belle! Cay-zee Ah-Belle!" And you've got the possessive under control: "Mommy's nose. Ah-Belle's shirt."
19. You love to help - in the kitchen, with laundry, cleaning up. If you hear me in the kitchen cooking or doing the dishes, you come running and say, "Helpin'?" Often your help is more messy than it is helpful, but we don't mind. We think it's pretty adorable.
20. When you drop something or mess up, you say, "Dang it!" No comment on whom you may have learned that from...

word of the week

So when you walk into Belle's room in the morning or after a nap, she does one of two things: (1) She starts listing the clothing you're wearing, or (2) She starts naming body parts. (What? She's just a little OCD.) Now this little miss knows pretty much every body part, even the ones we prefer she didn't know yet (...but when do we want them to know about bums and such?). So one day Jess realized he thought of a part she didn't know: the forehead. She's known the head since she was old enough to bonk it, but the forehead? Tricky, tricky. Sort of like teaching her the difference between lips, mouth, and tongue. All very tricky. So for a while he's been practicing with her, but she mostly just calls both the noggin and the front of your head a head. 

But this morning when I walked in to get her, she pointed at me and said, "Head." So I put my hand on my head. Then she pointed down a bit and said, "More head?"

And let's be honest - she's kind of right. :)

word of the week

So people have been telling me to "just wait" until Annabelle started really talking. That she'd be a crack up, that I didn't know the half of it. And let me tell you, the funnies have already started. She's long been saying, "I lub ewe," and in the last month or so has added whom she actually loves: "I lub my mommy," "I lub my dad," or one of our favorites, directed at her beloved blanket, "I lub it!" One night as we got ready for bed, she started busting up and saying over and over, because she's obviously the funniest person on earth, "I lub BOB! I lub my BOB!" And then proceed to roll around in a fit of giggles.

And while we've had "mawnmower" (lawnmower) under our vocabulary belt for a while, yesterday while we were waiting (and waiting) for Jess to get his CT scan, we had many opportunities for walks around the hospital. I pointed outside to the life flight helicopter and told her what it was. She nodded with surety and repeated: "Hella Carport." 

I'm still laughing. I love that kid.



P.S. My nose gets so much bigger when I'm pregnant. Seriously!

fixed and broken

So this weekend, Jess' entire family went to Yellowstone National Park. Although I was a basket case about it, I was signed up to go up until the very last minute, quite literally. The night before, I had (one last) major mental breakdown and finally decided that I needed to stay home. I had a respiratory infection (leftover from the cold) that I was fighting, and my doctor had actually advised me to sit this one out. Add the stress I feel when I travel (with a child) plus pregnancy irrationality, and you had me at goodbye.

So I stayed home with Belle. The weekend actually turned out great for us as my youngest sister was able to fly up and hang out, and due to antibiotics and my new diet, I've been feeling better physically than I have since I got pregnant. It's rather wonderful really. I have more energy, and I don't feel nauseated or have any extreme heartburn. I feel strong and human again.

Jess, on the other hand, isn't doing so hot. One day in Yellowstone was spent snowmobiling. In an unfortunate case of not seeing a ditch in time, Jess slammed his snowmobile into the ditch and his chest slammed into the machine. His upper torso is really sore (a CT scan revealed only swelling, thank goodness) and he can't lift or pull anything, including his Midge, which kind of breaks his heart. So in an ironic twist of fate, the momma has her strength back, and the daddy's is gone. While his injury isn't exactly a blessing, I feel very lucky and blessed to be feeling as good as I do so I can take care of not only our babe but also my broken man.

And now the photos that have nothing to do with the post will commence. (Photos of beautiful snowy Yellowstone to come.)

dear internet

I just wanted to apologize for how crabby I am about pregnancy. The fact of the matter is, I'm just not good at it. My body's not good at it, and I'm not good at pretending it's fun. Just when I think I can handle it, I get another piece of fun news or something else on my body breaks down. And when my body breaks down, so does my mind. And so I whine and complain and grumble.

Here's the thing though. In my mind, the pregnancy is totally separate from the baby. I know that logically speaking, pregnancy is what leads to a baby, but to me it's so very separate. In my mind, I just have to survive these nine months, and then suddenly a baby will be here. I know it sounds a little crazy, but it's how I cope.

But I realize that I'm a big whiny baby, and I wanted to apologize. In reality, I know I'm very blessed - blessed that I can be pregnant in the first place (and without much trying or thought about it) and blessed to already have a simply amazing daughter. I also know that while my pregnancy is one composed chiefly of discomfort after discomfort, it's definitely not as hard as it could be, and for that I'm also grateful. My body isn't "good" at being pregnant, but it doesn't fail either, and I know that is a blessing.

So I'm going to resolve (again) to just suck it up. And if I'm being honest, my new "diet" plan has me feeling light years better physically. Embarrassing, yes.

My apologies,
Shauntel

P.S. The very first thing I'm eating after the baby comes out is a big ol' cupcake with thick butter cream frosting. Oh man. A dream.

the comedy continues

I have some more comedy to add to this pregnancy. At least, I'm hoping if I call it comedy it will become funny.

Despite the fact that I've made conscious efforts to eat better and exercise more than I did when I was pregnant with Annabelle (minus days when I was completely ill), I'm officially gaining too much weight. I spin almost every day, lift weights a few times a week, cut out sugary drinks (I totally consumed them en masse with Belle), and watch my portions and/or food choices carefully. Plus, if I eat anything too rich or greasy, I just barf anyway. It's completely frustrating. My best guess is that my body is jacked up - I had an organ removed (thyroid) then weeks later got pregnant. (Listen, we thought it would take longer. As it turns out, Jess just sneezed in my general direction and BOOM.) My body doesn't know up from down, and then there's this little, cute parasite sucking the life out of me at the same time.

I'm officially on a low-carb, NO SUGAR diet for the duration of this pregnancy. COMEDY. And it isn't the diet that bugs me so much as the fact that I've been so careful this time around (I was pretty carefree when pregnant with Belle), and still I'm having issues. Why can't pregnancy be easy for just a minute for me? 

If you're one of those ladies who can eat what she wants and exercise if you want when you're pregnant and then return to your old body after giving birth, I'd recommend not mentioning this around me. And please, consider yourself blessed and lucky. It's beyond frustrating to try so hard for absolutely nothing. I feel like a failure.

If anyone has awesome low-carb meals, send them my way. Because as much as I love brown rice and salad, it's going to get old. Real fast.

P.S. Baby is doing great. My body just sucks.

happy valentine's day!

So I designed and sent this little card to the family members who don't get to see Belle very often:

But its creation was not without several outtakes:

And every goofy face is a perfect reminder of why she is my heart.

I just love her guts.

Happy Valentine's Day my heart.

My, how time flies.

cold

 You know it's been a rough week (pregnancy + a cold = let's not talk about it) 

when you wash and do your hair after several days of skipping showers 

and/or no hair doing, and your babe can't stop running her fingers through it

and telling you it smells "goo" and that it's so "pitty."

This is the second cold of the pregnancy.

Any bets on how many more this cute little girl

is going to bring home to me?

a bunch of garbage

So other than her "babies," Annabelle also has a particular affection for her dollies (the little Strawberry Shortcake ones that came in McDonald's Happy Meals) and her ponies (the My Little version). She carries them around in a bag all the time, and if they're not in the bag, they're taking a nap, as she says, in the silo that came with her Little People barn (a Christmas present score from the D.I.).

The past few days, however, said dollies and ponies have been missing. She was constantly looking around for them and checking the silo thinking that they must have just gotten real tired and wandered into their napping silo all by themselves. But alas, even with my help we hadn't unturned them. 

Until today. 

When I emptied the diaper pail. 

They were at the bottom. 

You're welcome for not taking pictures of that joyous discovery.